Since 1961, our family has held family home evenings. We began by using the monthly article in the Instructor. After our children grew up, started to marry and have familiies of their own. We instituted an extended family home evening every third Monday night of each month.

Our oldest son was married 12 years ago, and we have missed only one or two third Mondays since that time. Every year we have a theme, goals, projects and quarterly super activities.When our daughter and her family moved to Boise, Idaho, they continued to help plan meetings, but could only attend about four times a year. Once each year, we take the extended family home evening to them.

We plan a year in advance and have and agenda for each monthly meeting. We have had a road rally, library search night, physical fitness seminar, game night, museum visit, Constitution study and other activities. Some have become annual events. We try to structure activities and lessons appealing and interesting for the nine adults and nine grandchildren.

At the end of our January meeting, Grandpa Kirkham asked if there were any other goals or plans or suggestions that anyone had, and out 11-year-old granddaughter replied, "Oh, just be together more." -Dale B. and Bodell S. Kirkham, Pocatello, Idaho

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How we did it:

Spend tiem preparing

We feel just as much time should go into preparing for family home evenings as for a Sunday School class. Our family calendar is made out for the year with parents and children assigned lessons.

We do have structure and courtesy, but not to the point that it feels like another Church meeting the children must sit through. Someone once asked a Church leader how they could get their children to enjoy family prayer more. He said to "have shorter prayers." The same holds true for family home evenings. When our children were young, our family home evening lasted only 10 to 15 minutes. As the children have grown older, wh have extended the time to 45 minutes or more. We stop while we are still having fun and enjoying it. -Kerry and Peggy Lauritzen, Mansfield, Ohio

Involve the children

Our 4-year-old twin girls never let us forget to have family home evening. Each week we rotate such assignments as conducting, music, lesson and refreshments. The girls usually spend a big part of the day preparing lessons, choosing songs and deciding what we'll have for refreshments. Although it's a specialt time for us as a family, occasionally we invite single members of our branch or missionaries over to enjoy the special spirit with us. -Donna Pavlovsky, Dodge City, Kan.

Hold special event

My husband and I missed these special times together after the children were married, so we planned an annual family home evening for our extended family and called it the "Densley Love Conference." This special evening is planned on the Sunday evening nearest Valentine's Day. The theme is always "love."

We dress in Sunday best, open with a hymn and prayer, perform special talents, have a testimony meeting, closing song and prayer, and refreshments. For each of the past six years, this special event has kept our family together. -Louise Densley, Sandy, Utah

Form family bonds

When I was a child, my parents instilled in me and my brothers and sisters a love for family home evening. There we learned gospel principles at levels that we, as children, could understand. We learned to listen to others and to work together as each person took part in the lessons. At this time, family bonds were formed, and they continue to grow stronger as the years pass.

Through tough times and sorrow, we have come to realize that those family bonds formed years ago in family home evening are the bonds we cling to today. -Kathryn Bingham, Cypress, Calif.

Let children teach

After struggling for years to hold family home evening, we finally restructured our lifestyle to include this important principle. As each of the older family members had an opportunity to prepare and give the lesson, our 8-year-old daughter anxiously awaited her turn. I was concerned that her "lesson" might be lacking in time and substance, but she refused help.

I still recall the looks of amazement and respect on the faces of family members as Amanda delivered her lesson. It included pictures, a story from The Friend and her personal experiences. In only a few short weeks, our daughter had learned through example how to present an effective lesson and personified to us the wisdom and value of holding family home evening. -Emma Erekson, White Lake, Wis.

Share something good

We can draw families closer together in family home evening by doing the following:

- Give everyone a chance to express an opinion.

- Write something good about a family member.

- Share ideas and learn new things together.

- Perform a talent. Receiving applause from the family does wonders for the person's self esteem. -Connie "Micki" Heyrend, Idaho Falls, Idaho

Emphasize happy things

Family home evenings can work if we follow some simple rules:

- Concentrate on happy things. During the evening, don't drag out negative things, such as why Walter got an "F" in math or why Sarah failed at dieting.

- Give everyone a chance to participate, but don't make a joke out of it when the younger ones do the lesson.

- Take time out to do fun things like baking cookies together and leaving them on a widow's doorstep or seeing a special Church video.

- Invite the Lord to your family home evenings. Be sure to have an opening and closing prayer so you can feel His spirit during the lesson. Read the scriptures together and sing hyms after the lesson is finished. -Cheryl Robinson, Mission Viejo, Calif.

Split home evenings

We decided to split our family home evening so we could have a more spiritual Sabbath Day, and also lengthen the time we could do things together. On Sunday we sing together, have a lesson, share testimonies, have family discussions and plan the week's calendar. Monday nights are reserved for singing fun songs, recording the previous week's history, playing games and having refreshments. We learn a lot and laugh a lot and enjoy being together. -Kathey Ahlstrom, Fairborn, Ohio

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How to checklist:

1. Make assignments for family home evenings in advance.

2. Allow children to teach the lesson and perform.

3. Match lessons and other material to family's needs.

4. Make it a positive, spiritual and happy experience.

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May 28 "How to help your children entertain themselves during the summer."

June 4 "How to keep everybody happy with three generations in the home."

Have you had good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110. Contributions may be edited or exerpted and will not be returned. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.