It's easy to take offense or become offended by people's careless remarks or actions. Sometimes even good intentions are misinterpreted and lead to hurt feelings, which - unless quickly corrected - grow into prideful defiance.

We recognize that some people take offense at others' actions, withdraw from Church fellowship and even lose their testimonies. Some hold hateful thoughts for many years. One flippant remark directed at a fellow Latter-day Saint could lead to a lifetime of gospel inactivity. How can we avoid taking offense at things that others say or do to us?When someone has wronged us, or caused us to become offended by something he or she has said, the worldly response is "don't get mad - get even." Our pride has been damaged and our tendency is to do the same to the wrongdoer.

Contrast "getting even" with the Savior's admonition to turn the other cheek, to go the extra mile, to forgive "seventy times seven" and to pray for our enemies. To do as the Savior asks, we need to swallow our pride and move beyond the offending action.

One example of this is found in the Old Testament. Naaman, a captain of the Syrian king, went to the prophet Elisha seeking a cure for his leprosy. Arriving at Elisha's door, Naaman was informed by a messenger to wash seven times in the River Jordan and he would be healed.

"But Naaman was wroth, and went away, and said, Behold, I thought, He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the Lord his God, and strike his hand over the place, and recover the leper.

Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? may I not wash in them, and be clean?" (2 Kings 5:11-12.)

Naaman was offended because the prophet did not visit him personally and take care of his problem himself. Naaman stalked off, wounded by the action of a man he did not understand. It was left to Naaman's servant to get him to realize his mistake.

"And his servants came near, and spake unto him, and said, My father, if the prophet had bid thee done some great thing, wouldest thou not have do it? how much rather then when he saith to thee, wash, and be clean?

Naaman realized that Elisha was helping him. "Then went he down, and dipped himself seven times in Jordan, . . . and his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean." (2 Kings 5:13-14.)

Like ancient prophets, latter-day prophets also have warned us repeatedly about the dangers of pride.

At the 1989 April general conference, President Ezra Taft Benson said: "Pride is a very misunderstood sin. . . . The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. They pit their perceptions of truth against God's great knowledge, their abilities versus God's priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works.

"Our enmity toward God takes on many labels, such as: rebellion, hard heartedness, stiffneckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended and sign seekers. The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren't interested in changing their opinions to agree with God's."

Certainly, to salvage our pride, it is easy to place the blame on others. We, nevertheless, need to rid ourselves of the festering burr before it becomes a consuming cancer that directs our rage at all we hold dear.

We need to recognize that we are all brothers and sisters in the gospel and that it is by living the commandments and following Jesus' example we grow together and can help others grow to oneness. Unity is as much a part of the gospel as obedience. Having the same goals and striving to obtain them is a large part of getting along with others.

"Be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous. . . . For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace and ensue it . . . if ye suffer for righteousness sake, happy are ye. . . . For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing." (1 Peter 3:8-17.)

We can turn episodes of miscommunication, misunderstanding and missteps into positive reaffirmation of gospel principles by loving one another, by seeking the best from people, even though we may be disappointed by someone's unkindness toward us. Forgiveness is a great reconciler in our lives if we will practice it.