If someone wants you as their crime victim, it is almost impossible to prevent them from acting. However, we can limit the opportunities for crime and be better prepared for its after-effects and possible prosecution of the offender. As a police sergeant, I suggest the following:

In your own neighborhood:- Know your neighbors and their cars so your family can be aware of unfamiliar cars in the area.

- Train yourself and your family to look at license numbers.

- Know the makes and models of cars in case a car needs to be identified.

- Teach your family members, even little children, their address and phone number.

- Train yourself to possess a high level of awareness. Be aware of who and what is around you when driving down your street.

- Look for anything unusual in and around your house.

- Have your children become familiar with a family friend they can go to or contact in time of problems or danger.

Away from your neighborhood:

- Be cognizant of who is present when pulling into parking lots.

- Display a sense of confidence and awareness when walking about.

- Make eye contact with people. Let them know you see them.

- Do not leave valuables visible. Purses should be draped over the shoulder or forearm and not held in the hand.

- Take responsibility for your own safety. Do not rely on the police to protect you personally. - Randy C. Stringfellow, Scottsdale, Ariz.

*****

What we did:

Security tips

Most important, pray for your family's safety and protection every day.

Keep doors and windows locked, especially at night. Teach children that strangers are anyone they don't know, not just someone who looks different. Teach them how to call 911 and not to tell anyone except family members when they are home alone. Don't allow young children to answer the door. Keep cars locked, because an unlocked car is the perfect place for an attacker to lie in wait. - Gwen Harrison, Auburn, Ala.

Safe haven

None for whom I am responsible must go without protection from criminal elements.

A home must be a safe haven from thieves, robbers, confidence games, pornography, abortion, drugs, gangs, the wiles of the adversary and false teachings by those with questionable morals.

It is a fearsome and awesome responsibility to provide our posterity with safe places to live where they can diligently follow the teachings of the Savior and the prophets, and live worthy of their blessings. There is no other safe way. - Paul J. Parish, Whittier, Calif.

Open communication

The most common problems of crime victims are naivete and presenting opportunities. Criminally minded people look for unlocked doors, children walking alone or looking lonely, houses with no activity or at least no adults present, houses without security measures.

Concerning protecting children, the following is suggested:

- Educate them in personal safety. Teach them to use the buddy system. Two or more children together may deter would-be attackers.

- Teach them to never talk with strangers under any circumstances.

- Build their self-esteem. Praise them for their good deeds. Don't leave the door of self-esteem open for a very flattering and praise-providing predator to manipulate a child.

- Instill in them a sense of self-preservation. They must be taught to yell, kick, bite, and fight to get away from a dangerous situation.

- Keep an open and trusting communication network with them. Let them know that they can talk with you about "anything whatsoever" without worry of repercussions. If your relationship is filled with love and based on gospel principles, your child will turn to you and trust your advice and counsel. - Compilation of suggestions received from inmates of a federal prison

No one immune

While adopting safety procedures, be careful not to become complacent. No one is immune from crime. That's why I always ask Heavenly Father for daily protection not only for everyday routine but also for special circumstances, such as traveling.

In 1993, I traveled away from home more than 13,000 miles by car and was alone 90 percent of the time. I took extra care in packing because I did not know how long I would be on the road. Water, food, bedding and emergency items were planned with prayer.

The power of discernment is important. Several times I entered rest stops, got out of the car but never shut the door. I felt prompted to get right back in and drive to another stop.

I rarely drove at night. Guidance was also received in the quiet of a locked car. It is difficult to stay in tune to the Spirit when the radio is constantly blaring.

During one part of the journey, the smell of gas became overbearing. My eyes and throat burned. Even with the windows down, there was little relief. I prayed aloud for a garage to be available since night was approaching and most gas stations along freeways do not have mechanical facilities. Surprisingly, I bypassed several exits.

As I approached the third exit, I felt I should turn off the highway. I not only drove right into a trucker's garage with a mechanic still on duty, but also a motel was only a few doors away. The mechanic said my car should have been in flames. - Libby Frech, White House, Tenn.

Spiritual promptings

The first thing we feel is important is teaching our children to listen to the feelings inside them, to be in tune with the whisperings of the Spirit because those whisperings will guide and help them. We teach them that if we're uncomfortable with a situation, then we should get away from it. We don't stick around to find out why we're uncomfortable; maybe we'll find out why later. As parents, we should teach our children how to identify the Spirit; ask them questions about how they feel and what might prompt those feelings.

Also, we've made it a policy in our family that we all let the family know where we are, parents as well as children. As family members, we're to let others know where we're going, who we're going with, where we will be and when we expect to be home. Our children know very well that if they have not returned when they said they would, they can expect a telephone call at their friend's house or wherever it is they have gone. We don't make the phone call as a reprimand; we make it because we care. We don't call to embarrass them; we call because we love them. - Jean Hanks, Salt Lake City, Utah

*****

How to checklist

1 Pray for protection; seek divine guidance, discernment.

2 Make home a haven; foster open, trusting relationships.

3 Be cautious; keep doors, windows locked; be aware.

4 Teach children safety measures; know where they are.

*****

WRITE TO US:

Nov. 25 "How to foster good relationships with in-laws."

Dec. 2 "How to have the Christmas spirit while coping with death of a loved one."

Dec. 9 "How to keep Christ in your heart and mind all year, not just during holidays."

Dec. 16 "How to help elderly loved ones with their finances."

Dec. 23 "How to feel peace and contentment today, rather than always looking to the future for happiness."

Dec. 30 "How to help yourself or a loved one break the cycle of compulsive behavior."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, or send fax to (801) 237-2121. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.