Single adult members of the Church should not place a label on themselves that implies a condition or category that would possibly set themselves apart from the main body of the Church, Elder Robert D. Hales counseled during the single-adult satellite telecast.

Elder Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve was one of five speakers who addressed the telecast Nov. 12 that originated from the Tabernacle on Temple Square. Other speakers were President James E. Faust, second counselor in the First Presidency; Elaine L. Jack, Relief Society general president; and two Relief Society sisters, Sue Blunt of the Escondido 1st Ward, Escondido California South Stake; and Jeanie McAllister of the Parleys 7th Ward, Salt Lake Parleys Stake.In his remarks, Elder Hales said that sometimes single-adult members describe the ward where they live as a "traditional family ward," meaning a ward made up mostly of married men and women with children, as opposed to a singles ward. "Wouldn't it be better if we all viewed ourselves as belonging to a `traditional ward family,' a ward family made up of adults, youth, and children - individual brothers and sisters - caring for and strengthening one another?" Elder Hales asked. "God's love is infinite and is not restricted by conditions or categories.

"We all belong to a community of Saints," continued Elder Hales, "we all need each other, and we are all working toward the same goal. Any one of us could isolate ourselves from this ward family on the basis of our differences. But we must not shut ourselves out or isolate ourselves from opportunities because of the differences we perceive in ourselves. Instead, let us share our gifts and talents with others, bringing brightness of hope and joy to them, and in so doing lift our own spirits."

Elder Hales said there comes a time in life when individuals realize the fact that they are single simply does not limit their growth. "Holding on for too long to membership in a ward for single members may separate ourselves from the ward family."

He explained some may need a singles ward at certain times of transition in their lives, but that a singles ward is not to be considered as a permanent solution. "We hope the time comes when each of you feels the need to join the whole ward family and use your unique gifts and talents to touch the lives of all of our brothers and sisters - not just the lives of other single members."

Elder Hales offered suggestions for bringing joy and happiness into one's life:

- "Praying. `Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.' (Ps. 55:22.)

- "Studying the scriptures.

- "Visiting with your bishop and your quorum leader or your Relief Society president.

- "Giving service to others.

- "Lifting and strengthening others."

Elder Hales said the Lord wants all to be happy. "He has told us, `Men are, that they might have joy.' (2 Ne. 2:25.) This joy we speak of is in the present. We do not have to wait for another day, another year, until our circumstances change, or until we pass through the veil and go on to our eternal glory. We are to find joy in the present. If we live the gospel of Jesus Christ, we can find joy in whatever condition we find ourselves."

Pres. Jack, in her address, quoted from the Apostle Paul's teachings to the Colossians: "Continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel." (Col 1:23.)

The Relief Society general president said the centerpiece of Paul's challenge is the concept of being "grounded and settled." She said she knew many people she would term "grounded and settled." Like the five wise virgins (Matt. 25:1-13), they have accumulated oil for their lamps drop-by-drop in righteous living. She said they study the scriptures; pay their tithes; fast; honor the Sabbath; show kindness, patience, charity; and keep a measure of hope in their hearts, adding drops to their reserve."

Pres. Jack spoke of the analogy Jesus often drew with work in the fields: preparing the ground, planting, cultivating and nurturing, and finally harvesting. She said the fruit of labor is sweet when the work is consecrated to God, but certain conditions have to be weathered: the winds, the rains or drought, the brilliant sun and sometimes the bitter cold.

"Sometimes, our work needs to be directed at improving our ground rather than excusing our own harvests because the place we have been given is a little hard; there are too many rocks, too many hills, too little top soil. If we focus on where we are instead of what we can do with our plot we will find our efforts significantly diminished."

Continuing, Pres. Jack said, "Our Father in Heaven has given us tools to use: scriptures, daily prayers, callings, promptings from the Spirit and testimonies that grow stronger when we are asked to dig deep into our souls."

After Pres. Jack spoke, Sister Blunt, a mother of seven whose husband was killed in 1989 in an airplane accident, shared her experiences. She spoke of the common ground faced by single adult members.

"Few of us ever imagined rearing our children, or spending our later years alone. Most of us face a grieving for what we once had or for what we wish we had. Many of us fight depression, exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy."

She spoke of the importance of turning to the Lord for help. "Whenever we say, `I must do all these things, but I can't do them alone,' we are absolutely right. The pipeline to heaven must be constantly open so that we are prepared to ask for and then receive help on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis."

Sister McAllister told the telecast listeners: "It's important for marrieds to be sensitive to us who don't each have a built-in friend. But as singles, we should remember that reaching out goes both ways. We need to reach out to marrieds and include them in our lives. Most important, all of us need to see beyond the categories of `married' or `single' to those of `brother' and `sister.' "

She expressed gratitude for the principle of eternal marriage and families. "For many of us who are single, the principles we've learned as the progeny of such marriages or the prospect ahead that such a marriage can be ours keeps our faith burning. Everyone benefits from happy marriages and happy children because to a large degree they create the world in which we live."