Adjusting to retirement doesn't begin on retirement day. We began the process of preparing for retirement when we were married. This process included the following:

- Pursuing a path that would bring happiness and joy to us as we reared our family and that would sustain us in retirement.- Cultivating a relationship that would sustain us financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically "after children."

We supported one another in callings, work and tasks. We became best friends. We continued to "date" and enjoy the time that was just ours.

Retirement day arrived after 42 years together. As decisions needed to be made, we made them as we always had, together after talking and praying about them.

Today, our lives are filled with temple work, doing family history work, serving as we are called to serve, enjoying nature, taking walks, reading and each continuing to enjoy our own personal interests. Life goes on, and we are a little slower, but we are glad that we started early in our relationship so that we could enjoy it to its fullest. - Patsy A. Evans, Layton, Utah

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What we did:

Different lifestyle

My husband retired on a Thursday, and on the following Monday we headed for an extended vacation to get out of the routine of getting up and going to work every day. We came home from the first trip and put in our mission papers - a goal we had had for a long time.

Within several months we were on a full-time mission. After coming home from our mission, we found that we had adjusted to a different lifestyle. A calling to our regional bishops' storehouse where we serve two to three days per week has helped to keep us active.

The thing is to not come home and sit down in that chair in front of the TV and vegetate. You need to have a plan. - Evelyn M. Ricks, Baltimore, Ohio

Deep, lasting love

The best way to adjust to retirement is to prepare by living with respect and service throughout the marriage. With this done, love will be deep and lasting. If there has been respect and cooperation, this adjustment will be handled as any other adjustment - childbirth and rearing, moving, unemployment, family disaster - was during the years before retirement. That is with mutual respect and cooperation. - Robert W. English, Salt Lake City, Utah

Avoid radical change

Retirement is a most unpredictable time of a couple's life together. Preparations for successful retirement need to have started early. Retirement is inevitable and must be accepted as reality, not to be treated lightly, but given earnest effort to enjoy.

- Show by your actions and demeanor you are pleased and blessed to be with the one you have loved and lived with so long.

- Avoid immediate radical change in lifestyle.

- Make no special demands because you have more time together.

- Determine priorities for this special time.

- Discuss freely, without prejudice, all open options for change.

- Make your environment conducive to a positive view of your future.

- Allow your spouse his/her space. - John E. Carr, Salt Lake City, Utah

Precious gift

My husband retired 2 1/2 years ago, as a physician and surgeon, from a very busy group medical practice. I love having more time with him. He went from dividing his time between his medical practice, family, Church and community to having increased time with family, Church and community.

We feel that retirement has been a precious gift and a great blessing in our lives. My husband has always been very active in the Church. At the time of his retirement he was stake mission president, so he had more time to devote to that calling. And, of course, one of the great blessings of retirement is more time to spend with family, especially grandchildren.

Seven months ago, my husband was called to be a bishop of a single young adult ward, which is probably one of the greatest callings in the Church. He no longer is "on call" for medical patients, but "on call" for the members of his ward.

My husband has always said that "people" were his hobby. Retirement has given him the blessing of devoting more time to his "hobby." - Sally Wible, La Habra Heights, Calif.

Experiencing joy

The best way to adjust to retirement is to plan to serve a mission together as soon after retirement as possible.

About six months before our planned retirement we began the process of preparing our mission papers. We retired in September. We left for our mission in October to the Japan Tokyo North Mission. We are now experiencing more joy than we ever thought possible. We are together 24 hours a day and thoroughly love every minute of our association. Many of our friends have said the greatest adjustment of retirement is getting used to being together all the time. We know we will never have that adjustment problem because we chose to serve a mission together immediately upon retirement. - Elder Wayne and Sister Joan Herlin, Japan Tokyo North Mission

Treasure years

- Read scriptures together.

- Do a household or garden project together.

- Offer the supreme sacrifice. Be an uncomplaining companion at a football game.

- Treasure these precious years. In the beginning, you were inseparable, and in life's sunset God gives a magic re-run of that togetherness. - Bernice Brown Ostrig, Buffalo, Minn.

`Now was the time'

This is the very best time of our lives.

Neither one of us had the opportunity to go on a mission in our youth, so now was the time.

The question came up, "What about the children and grandchildren?" Through prayer we came to understand, if we didn't go they wouldn't grow. We can teach them so much more by example and loving them enough to let go than anything else we could have done. It was that simple, and grow they did - emotionally, spiritually and as bonded family units who were able to solve their own problems. - Jean Godfrey, West Valley City, Utah

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How to checklist:

1 Focus on service; plan to serve a mission together.

2 Read scriptures, pray; do projects, activities together.

3 Continue love, respect for one another.

4 Treasure years together; determine priorities.

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WRITE TO US:

June 29 "How to adjust to life-altering changes."

July 6 "How to develop meaningful family traditions."

July 13 "How to help children cope with the death of a loved one."

July 20 "How to ensure you are not worshipping 20th century false gods."

July 27 "How to help yourself and your children support your bishop husband."

Aug. 3 "How to find time in a busy schedule to keep a journal."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2121 or use internet E-mail: Churchnews@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.