Having "been there, done that," I can offer some tried-and-true suggestions:

- Get help. If there is a physical problem, see your doctor and find out what it is. If medication will help, try it. Emotional upheavals can further aggravate physical illness. Get adequate rest, exercise, eat healthy food and take care of yourself.Don't hesitate to take advantage of LDS Social Services and get counseling, if needed.

- Turn to your Heavenly Father; live the gospel. Have regular daily prayer, study the scriptures, attend Church and the temple. Be open to the promptings of the Spirit. Listen to good, gospel-centered music to help you chase away negative feelings or depression. Ask for a priesthood blessing if you feel it would help. Consult your bishop or other priesthood leaders if there are serious problems. He can refer you to the help you need.

- Read good self-help books. Self-governing through correct principles works.

- Learn to say no. Only you know how busy your schedule is and what resources you have available. Seek Heavenly Father's counsel in what is most important. The Lord does not expect us to run faster than our strength. You have a right to set your own routine and schedule your own time.

- Pace yourself. If you have health problems, injuries or are feeling the rigors of increasing age, allow yourself to shorten your stride and slow your pace when needed - physically and emotionally rather than spiritually. Set reasonable goals you can accomplish. Praise yourself for what you get done, and let remain undone what really can wait until tomorrow or longer.

- Allow yourself some self-nurturing time. Between household chores or work, schedule and hold inviolate some time to do things you like and want to do, rather than being bound to things you always should do. Alternating "have to's" with "want to's" makes life more enjoyable. - Hollye Holmquist, Lancaster, Calif.

*****

What we did:

Let go

After experiencing my husband's debilitating health problems over many years - and following his death - I felt completely burned out emotionally, physically, mentally, but never spiritually.

After seeking my Heavenly Father in prayer, I tried the following:

- Letting go of and putting behind me the devastating experiences.

- Allowing myself time to just feel like a person again.

- Counting my blessings and saying thank you for them.

- Pondering on the sacrifice of my Savior.

- Re-reading my patriarchal blessing with a new understanding.

- Taking a careful inventory of my life, determining where I wanted to go and what I hoped to do.

- Studying the scriptures without looking at the clock.

- Relaxing with a good book or listening to special tapes.

- Spending quality time with my grandchildren and truly enjoying them. - Cleo Price Mollinet, Midvale, Utah

Balance is key

Whatever your personal or emotional needs are - visiting family, time alone, monthly concerts, trips to the library - they must not be forgotten or discounted. If funds are limited, be creative. Symphony rehearsals can be attended at no cost. You can trade baby-sitting time with your visiting teachers or others with small children.

Prayer may be your closest and only source of help. Heavenly Father knows our needs before we ask, but we must ask in order to receive. - Karen R. Bollinger, Missoula, Mont.

Nourish your spirit

I have found it absolutely essential to nourish myself both physically and emotionally.

- Nourish your spirit through scripture study and prayer, remembering to pray constantly for help and for feelings of love for yourself and gratitude for who you are.

- Visit the temple regularly and feel the peace of the Father seep into your soul.

- Go to bed early. D&C 88:124 states, "Retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary."

- Choose a positive statement about yourself and repeat it often throughout the day. Though this may sound silly, it works wonders.

- Nourish your body continually, eating healthy, nutritious food whenever you feel hungry. D&C 89:20 promises you "shall run and not be weary."

- Exercise at least three times per week. It does much to relieve stress and strengthen you for your challenges.

- Remember God loves you. He is aware of your feelings. - Helen H. Jones, Salem, Utah

Negative effect

Many LDS folks put the most emphasis on spiritual things, which if you are going to "overdo" an area, it is probably the right area to overdo. But many underestimate the importance of the physical side of things. Regardless of how spiritually in tune we are, if we are in poor physical condition, not properly nourished, tired, overweight, or just plain unhealthy, if is difficult to meet the challenges of daily living. In addition, it can have a negative effect on our ability to be in tune with the Spirit. - Michael W. Scrimsher, Pasco, Wash.

Simplify life

- Learn to say no to others and yourself. If you are burned out, it is appropriate to do so.

- Simplify your life.

- Develop moderate daily habits. This is not the time for challenging goals. Strive for consistency rather than quantity.

- Rediscover life's simple pleasures. To get started, try watching children at play.

- Realize laughter is healing.

- Re-acquaint yourself with your senses. Really look at, touch, smell, listen to and taste things.

- Express gratitude often, especially in prayer. - Dawn Hunsaker, Tempe, Ariz.

Don't compete

People who are prone to burn-out may unknowingly feel competitive with others and push themselves to be the "best." Competitive thinking may include the idea that there is one winner to a "game," and thus, everyone else must be "losers." We may then feel that if we are not the "best" mother, worker and so on, that we are "losing" or feel like a failure, so we push ourselves to the point of exhaustion to "win" at everything.

It is helpful to tell ourselves that being the "best" mother or missionary is not what is important. Many societies in the world emphasize cooperation rather than competitiveness, and in the ideal society (that of the gospel), our worth as a person does not come from being the "best" or from our achievements, but is constant and infinite. We are worth much and loved much simply by being who we are. We are human "beings," not human "doings," and we need to love others and ourselves. - LaNeta Kimball, Cedar City, Utah

*****

How to checklist:

1 Nourish self spiritually; pray, study scriptures; attend Church meetings, temple.

2 Pace yourself, set priorities; set reasonable goals.

3 Nourish self physically; eat healthily, get proper rest, exercise regularly.

4 Put past behind, allow time to rejuvenate; count blessings.

*****

WRITE TO US:

Sept. 21 "How to be more optimistic."

Sept. 28 "How to cope with, help a child who is suffering from emotional, mental illness."

Oct. 5 "How to financially prepare your family for missions, education."

Oct. 19 "How to support your wife as she serves as an auxiliary leader."

Oct. 26 "How to be more sensitive to those around you in different marital and family circumstances."

Nov. 2 "How to take responsibility for your own happiness."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2121 or use internet E-mail: Churchnews@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.