It's easier to recognize golden calves than it is to recognize all the forces there are that draw us away from Heavenly Father.

My personal definition of modern idolatry is anything that I set my heart upon that will lead me away from my Father in Heaven. In a society with so many modern conveniences, media influences, material possessions and false heroes, we have a formidable task to keep our hearts focused on what is truly important and stay balanced with those things that are merely interesting.The following are examples:

- Different things constantly come up in our lives or in the lives of our children, and we realize that something is out of balance and the interesting is taking over the important. When a few of our children got to the point that they only wanted designer clothing no matter the cost, we implemented a money management system with each child and focused a few home evenings on the things of the world versus what is inside each of us.

- Recently, our two teen-age sons were invited to participate on an all-state in-line hockey team to go to the regional and national tournaments. The only problem was the training and the local tournaments leading up to the big events were all on Sunday. We tried to teach our children that even though the national tournament could be a great opportunity and lead to bigger and better things, it was only an interesting event in their lives. What was eternally important was keeping the Sabbath day holy, fulfilling their Aaronic Priesthood assignments and being obedient to Heavenly Father.

- This past school year, I was involved with the PTA. I felt that I did much good and made many non-LDS friends, but I found I was having difficulty getting my visiting teaching done or going to the temple. I realized that my involvement was excessive and was taking me away from the things that were truly important. I needed to make an adjustment to stay in balance and keep my heart on the things of my Heavenly Father.

I believe that we will be successful as we keep the commandments, obey the counsel of our living prophets and listen to the Spirit in our lives - Irene Anders, Odessa, Fla.

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What we did:

`P.O.S.itive' approach

We study the scriptures everyday, pray for the Holy Ghost to be with us and strive to obey all the commandments. I call it the "P.O.S.itive" approach - pray, obey, study everyday.

We are extremely careful in our selections of TV viewing, movies, video games, books, magazines, and the kind of music allowed into our home. In this way, we hope to increase our ability to hear the whisperings of the Spirit. We have found that the requirements for our temple recommend are only a foundation to build up the power from God to help us recognize an overwhelming number of false paths. - Janet Huff, Corvallis, Mont.

Family first

- Are we willing to forego the glamorous and attractive things of the world?

- Do we place the spiritual well-being of our children and family first?

- Have we learned to buy the economical and how to make do?

- Can we contribute surpluses to programs that will help those who are in less-fortunate circumstances?

- Do we live outside ourselves through love and service to others?

- Can we turn off the TV and avoid any type of media that would undermine our spirituality and closeness to our Father in Heaven?

- Do we truly love our neighbors and have temple service a priority in our schedule and do volunteer work outside of Church callings? - D. Keith Young, American Fork, Utah

Focus on what's real

It seems like the main thing that people are looking for these days is entertainment, which can be very invasive.

It's easy for 20th Century false gods to come into our home through entertainment. In the past, we didn't have videos, for example, in our homes, and young people seemed to learn better in school.

It's important to keep focused on what's real. We should keep an eye on what kids are watching on television, etc. We need to help our young people have other interests, things that foster creativity and feelings of accomplishment rather than just watching others achieve through the media. - Barbara Apsley, Roseville, Calif.

Assess self

I suggest the following self-assessment quiz:

- Where do you spend your free time, with your spouse, family, friends, business associates?

- Are you going into debt for non-essential 20th century toys?

- Does your home have more than three televisions?

- Do you find the bed/couch and television more appealing than Sabbath meeting attendance?

- Does Monday Night Football replace family home evening?

- How difficult is it to write that tithing check?

- Do you wax your new car more than one time per week?

- Do you rationalize minimal fast-offerings?

- Are Mom and Dad both working full-time only to maintain an unrealistic standard of living?

- Do you make excuses to not go visiting/home teaching when your companion calls?

If you answered "yes" to any one of these questions, you might want to re-evaluate your priorities. - Kris Lundeen, San Antonio, Texas

Follow the prophets

Just follow the prophets, meaning the living and the ancient prophets. They counsel on everything.

In our family, we take our kids to every session of general conference as telecast to our stake center. We have dress clothes on. We give the younger children outlines to list who's speaking and what was said.

I feel absolutely cheated if I don't hear conference. Hearing conference every six months is my recharge. Conference helps me reset my sights for the next six months and regain my perspective.

My hope is that as my children grow, they will listen to the words of the prophets and gain that proper perspective. Hearing and following the words of the prophets can help us refrain from worshipping 20th Century false gods. - Debby Call, Selah, Wash.

Don't glorify people

We don't encourage glorifying any sports heroes, movie figures or music artists.

We don't have any one musical artist we admire. We encourage our children to develop appreciation for all kinds of music. On Sundays, music must be appropriate for the Sabbath.

We consciously try to influence our children's media choices by trying to set the right example as parents. We don't attend a lot of movies, and when we do they are never R-rated and we're selective about those that are rated PG.

We have Church videos we watch on Sundays, and we find our children are as likely to watch those films during the week as well.

As far as sports heroes, my sons love to have the brand name tennis shoes and the T-shirts. We try to teach them to focus on the quality of the things they buy and not feel that the logo makes it necessarily the best. - B. Jess Moulton, South Sioux City, Neb.

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How to checklist:

1 Put gospel first in life; follow counsel of prophets.

2 Keep a balance in life; assess spiritual, temporal priorities.

3 Focus on what's real; keep perspective on home, family.

4 Be wise in buying; seek quality, rather than brands.

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WRITE TO US:

Aug. 10 "How to find time in a busy schedule to keep a journal."

Aug. 17 "How to most wisely harvest and preserve produce from family garden."

Aug. 24 "How to help LDS youth have social opportunities when they are few in number."

Aug. 31 "How to overcome emotional, physical burnout."

Sept. 7 "How to include a socially underdeveloped child in classes and activities."

Sept. 14 "How to be more optimistic."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2121 or use internet E-mail: Churchnews@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.