Mothers are frequently misunderstood.

We think they are soft, but in truth they are steely in their unflinching determination to see their children get the best possible opportunities in this life.As toddlers, we think they may not be available when we need help in a confusing world, so we cling hard, not understanding that they will always be there.

When we are children, we think that if we make a bad mistake, they will not love us any longer. In reality they may love us even more and protect us. Then we think they should always shield us from the consequences, not realizing they are intent on teaching us how to accept those hard lessons.

When we are teens, we think they don't understand us. Just the opposite: they probably understand us all too well, having seen beyond the fog that hides the intense concerns of youth. And we think they were born adults, when in in their minds they are still as young as we are.

We think that they don't make mistakes; or if they do, that they don't realize it. Not so.

When young adults, we think they don't want to know about our hopes and problems, and that they are tired of hearing our concerns. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We think that when we get older, our mothers will finally quit worrying about us. Asked when that age comes, a 70-year-old mother replied, "I don't know, but I'll let you know if I ever find out."

We believe they all look forward to Mother's Day, the one day attention will be focused exclusively on them. In fact, they are likely ambivalent about the whole fuss, feeling uncomfortable amid the praise and comparisons and maybe even resentful, but still gratified to know that their children return some of their devotion.

We do know this about mothers: They are as wonderfully complex as any creation, except that they have a unique capacity for love. They harbor a fierce loyalty to their family that runs throughout their gender.

President David O. McKay spoke often about the role of mothers, saying that motherhood itself combined the Godly virtues of creating and sacrificing. `Motherhood is just another name for sacrifice," he said in a tribute to mothers.

"From the moment the wee, helpless babe is laid on the pillow beside her, Mother daily, hourly, gives of her life to her loved one. It has been aptly said that babes draw strength at first from her bosom but always from her heart." (Gospel Ideals, p. 456.)

President Heber J. Grant recognized the role of women and their contribution to the Church. He said: "Without the wonderful work of the women I realize that the Church would have been a failure. The mother in the family far more than the father is the one who instills in the hearts of the children, a testimony and a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ." (Gospel Standards, p. 150.) In fact, he said, "It is the sisters who carry the burden of the work." (p. 151.)

President McKay, in his tribute to mothers, noted that we accept a parent's attention, care and devotion as we accept the pure air and glorious sunshine - just as a matter of course. He added that we are "prone not only to undervalue mother's presence and love, but also, in consequence of this unconscious indifference, to neglect to express the appreciation and love we do feel for her. . . . For kindness she deserves kindness, for tenderness she should be given tenderness, for self-sacrifice, a little self-denial on the part of the children; for love, she should in return have love."(Gospel Ideals, p. 457.)

Being a mother has never been an easy role. Some of the oldest writings in the world admonish us not to forsake the law of our mother, instruct us that a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother and warn us not to ignore our mother when she is old. (Prov. 1:8; 10:1; 23:22). The scriptures also remind us that what we learn from our mothers comprise our very core values, as with the 2,000 stripling sons and warriors for Helaman, who `had been taught by their mothers,' that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. (Alma 56:47).

Mothers have always worried, and in today's world they have much to worry about. But mostly they worry about how we are doing. So this season and to avoid being misunderstood, if you want to honor your mother, you should clean up your room, talk to her about your life, avoid bad habits, bad company, and bad language, tell her you love her, don't compare her with someone else, treat your family with respect, don't expect her to be an infallible superwoman, and keep the covenants you made in the Church. That's what she would tell you. That, and that she loves you.