You can never completely prepare for the arrival of your first child, but there are things you can do in all aspects of your life to not feel overwhelmed. We should prepare:

- Physically - I got a doctor I trusted, someone I could talk to about any concerns I had and who answered my questions completely. The only way your doctor can help you is if he or she sees you, so don't miss any appointments.- Financially - I made a list of all the things I thought my child would need. Then my husband and I prioritized this list to determine what things were absolutely essential for when our child would be born, what things we could borrow from friends or family, and what things we could purchase as our child grew older. We purchased the necessary things throughout the nine months, so that our pocketbook was not suddenly strained when the baby came.

- Emotionally - I talked to people I loved and trusted to get advice about what they thought was most important in raising a child. I also wrote down thoughts and feelings I had about how my husband and I could best express our values and love to our child.

- Mentally - I read books to get different information about what kinds of things to expect. I also listened to music that calmed and inspired me. Don't get so caught up in the worries that you don't enjoy the excitement and thrill of the miracle of having a child.

- Spiritually - You are responsible for one of God's children. Make sure that He is involved with your child's upbringing. He is your best source of inspiration and help. I read the scriptures (often out loud) and Church magazines. I also said many prayers about the welfare of my child; I'm still doing that and will the rest of my life. - Tracy A. Brousseau, Orem, Utah

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What we did:

Love, commitment

We just had our first child three months ago, and I remember how overwhelming it seemed to us at first. With all the preparations and questions we were unsure where to start. This is what worked for us:

- I received a priesthood blessing from my husband. I had many concerns about being pregnant and the blessing was a great comfort.

- I made my doctor appointments when both my husband and I could go. This baby represented the love and commitment we had for each other, and we both wanted to experience everything together. I also kept my doctor appointments. The health of our baby was the top priority at the time.

- I read all I could. I wanted a realistic view of pregnancy and wanted to be informed of all possibilities. If I had any questions I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget to ask them at my doctor appointments. We also took a childbirth class.

- My husband and I made a list of all the items we needed or wanted for our baby. We were on a limited budget so we crossed off the items that weren't necessary so we could stick to our budget. Going in debt because we have so many cute baby things available to us would not have added to the joy of receiving Heavenly Father's child. - Tonya Fincher, Plattsmouth, Neb.

Home teachers helped

My wife and I were so excited at the news of our first child. But it brought on all the fears and concerns of being the right kind of parents for our little one.

We were wise enough to ask our home teachers for help. Over the next few months they did much to allay our concerns. Each month they taught us from the scriptures, from stories and personal experience principles of parenthood, which have since been put to good use. Listening skills, living a righteous example, praying, serving and giving support to each other were conveyed. - Darrell and Debbie Meier, West Jordan, Utah

Pray always

Your child, coming from his or her far home, will feel the warmth of eternal love on earth. Fill your home with music, soft and sweet as angel's song. And pray always. Prayer is a heaven-sent shield. Your child of God will learn "all that he must do to live with Him someday." - Christina Luedert Pace, Toppenish, Wash.

Highest priority

About 19 1/2 years ago, as we were eagerly awaiting the birth of our first baby, we decided to make parenting the highest priority of our lives and to learn everything we could about this important calling. We read books on pregnancy and nutrition and child care. We observed parents with their children and discerned that some methods of discipline were more effective and more in harmony with gospel principles than others. We spent many hours discussing our observations and even drew up a very optimistic (and somewhat unrealistic) list of specific ways we would parent our children. What we were not prepared for was the experience of falling deeply in love with our beautiful daughter, Mary. Once she came into our lives and we became acquainted with her, we were in awe of the greatness and nobility of her spirit, and humbled to be responsible for her and to her. We have tried with her and her six siblings to always remember in our parenting that our children belong to the Lord and that they are ours on loan as a sacred stewardship. - Jeffrey and Dallas Meyers, Elk Ridge, Utah

Great joy

Expect changes in social life, finances, service, marriage relationship, priorities and health. And, expect great joy!

Simplify preparations. Babies don't need beautifully decorated nurseries and all the latest equipment and toys. Your face will be their favorite entertainment - until they discover the pots and pans! Rearrange your home so it will be safe for baby's crawling, walking and exploring.

New mothers, don't jump back into activities and responsibilities too quickly. Relax and enjoy your baby. Give your body, mind and emotions time to adjust to this wonderful, life-changing experience. Allow family and friends to "mother" you. And, nap when the baby naps. - Flora McConkie, Huntsville, Texas

Piggy bank

When my husband and I were expecting our first child, we prepared for the expenses of the delivery and doctor bills by starting a piggy bank. At the end of each day, we would put all of our loose change in the bank. On pay day, if my husband felt like we could afford it, he would buy a roll of quarters or he would put bills in the bank. When our parents would come to visit, they also would contribute. By the time our baby was born, we had saved quite a lot of money. Due to financial preparation, we were able to pay the hospital bills in full by the time our baby was four months old. The piggy bank was so successful we plan to do it again when we have our next child. - Nancy Goodsell, Woods Cross, Utah

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How to checklist:

1 Seek help, guidance through scripture study, prayer; get priesthood blessings.

2 Prioritize baby items; stay within budget, save now.

3 Support one another in marriage relationship; simplify preparations.

4 Learn about parenting from loved ones, good books.

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WRITE TO US:

Dec. 7 "How to reach out to the lonely during the Christmas season."

Dec. 14 "How to apply the principle of repentance in daily life."

Dec. 21 "How to be more Christ-centered in our relationships with others."

Dec. 28 "How to maintain hope in the midst of affliction."

Jan. 4 "How to apply in one's life the legacy of faith as found in the Doctrine and Covenants and Church history."

Jan. 11 "How to enjoy the blessings of the priesthood without a worthy priesthood holder in the home."

- Also interested in letters on these topics: "How to be more patient with your children," "How to foster positive communication in your family."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2121 or use internet E-mail: Churchnews@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.