Being a sole Church member in the family is not easy. For more than 10 years, I have enjoyed my membership in the Church.

The following are some suggestions to strengthen and be a positive influence when you're the only Church member in your family:- Attend Church regularly. Pay devotions to the Lord during the Sabbath day through prayer and covenant renewal. Take the opportunity to seek the guidance of the Lord and ask for counsel from your local Church leaders and your fellow ward/branch members. You will learn many things, and you will be blessed.

- Study the scriptures. This will help you to broaden your knowledge of the gospel and will strengthen your faith and your testimony.

- Pray for help, guidance.

- Be a responsible member of the family. Accomplish all your responsibilities at home, and be of help to other members of the family.

- Live the Word of Wisdom. Your parents will be glad in knowing that you do not have any vices at all.

- Teach the gospel by showing a good example. Watch carefully your words and deeds. Every word you say and every work you do will reflect on the Church. - Joselito C. Roque, Caloocan, Philippines

What we did:

Family newsletter

I converted to the Church in 1980 and remain the only member in my family. I have found that sharing family history with my immediate and extended family has helped us draw closer to each other. I have been dubbed the "family historian" by some relatives. Most everyone has an interest in it, and now they come to me whenever they have family history questions. At the same time, it is a great missionary tool.

I decided to publish a family newsletter. This letter includes articles on family history, who's moved, births, deaths and fun family ideas. This has been well received. I ask for input from family members. I found a way to involve them in something we all can participate in and at the same time attempt to publish information that reminds us of the values we grew up with. - LouAnn Cachares, Downers Grove, Ill.

Be patient

Be patient and quietly live the gospel. Any early opposition based on Church misconceptions will melt away as your family observes the gospel being lived by you, and by your children and grandchildren. Questions will then come, and you will have opportunities to explain the gospel. Mother never became a member, but she became a 35-year supporter in gathering family names for eight family history books we published. Dad never lost an opportunity to praise the Church his son belonged to. - Donald S. Conkey, Woodstock, Ga.

Be good example

My wife and I have been married for 11 years and our different beliefs have occasionally caused friction. More often than not this has been my fault, and I have learned patience in my approach. It has been important that my example is exemplary.

My wife is a good Christian and regularly attends her church. Her commitment to her church is good, but this makes her acceptance of our faith difficult. I always look for common grounds of interest that allows us to worship together. The following are examples:

- We pray together morning and night.

- We have family home evening.

- We have date night.

- I read her articles out of the Ensign and Church News.

- She is always present and participates when our faithful home teacher comes.

- She reads a lot of LDS literature.

- She attends many conference meetings and open houses with me. - Name and location withheld

Attract, don't attack

To be a positive influence in a non-LDS family, a member must attract, not attack with the gospel. I try to do this by inviting family members to activities that I think they might enjoy. I also explain our beliefs and answer questions so they have an understanding of the gospel and why it is so important to me.

I find strength in following the prophet's advice to attend my Church meetings. I am spiritually fed at Church, and I always walk away with renewed strength, hope and inner peace, which I take back into my home.

Prayer is a great source of strength. I pray that one day my family will desire to have the gospel in their lives. I know that Heavenly Father will answer my prayer and soften their hearts.

I receive even more strength from going to the temple and doing my family's work. What a special feeling it was to go through the temple for my sister, aunts and grandmother. In the temple, I am able to spread the gospel within my family. Knowing that I will be with them for eternity gives me strength and peace. - Renea Hammac, Corona, Calif.

Hardest decision

Many converts are young when they join the Church. I was 22, from Vancouver, Canada, and I have been a member for three years. I am the only member in my family, so far! It was the hardest decision ever to go on a mission, but my family has been blessed so much. Because of my example, my father now reads the Book of Mormon and goes to Church and my mother's marriage has turned around for the good. I tell them that they are blessed for supporting me whether they believe it or not. I tell other converts who are worried about their parents' thoughts of them going on a mission that the best way they can help their family come to a knowledge of the gospel is to be an example and serve a mission. Get married in the temple even though your family doesn't understand. I plan to have a personal family reception to explain why I chose the temple and share information about eternal families. - Elder Jamie T. Brown, Czech Republic Prague Mission

Radiate happiness

I was the only member in my family for almost two years. I found that I received strength from daily activities. I suggest reading the scriptures; praying; being active and serving; attending Sunday meetings as well as weekday meetings, such as seminary, institute, Young Men/Young Women activities, homemaking, service projects, etc.; making friends with members of the Church; and letting your happiness radiate. Smile! - Kristi Welch, Athens, Ga.

How to checklist

1. Live the gospel; attend meetings, study scriptures, pray, attend temple regularly.

2. Be good example; be diligent in family responsibilities.

3. Be patient, loving; avoid friction; invite family members to activities; explain beliefs.

4. Do family history research; share stories with family.

Write to us:

Dec. 20 "How to make Christ the center of Christmas traditions."

Dec. 27 "How to develop qualities of discipleship."

Jan. 3 "How to gain a deeper spiritual appreciation for the Old Testament."

Jan. 10 "How to better serve those to whom you are assigned as a home teacher or visiting teacher in 1998."

Jan. 17 "How to avoid greed."

Jan. 24 "How to be more resilient in day-to-day life."

Jan. 31 "How to save more, spend less."

- Also interested in letters on these topics: "How to get out of a rut in your career," "How to help yourself or loved one overcome an abusive nature," "How to be prepared to share the gospel and answer questions," "How to build a strong work ethic in children," "How to encourage children and young people to be physically active."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2524 or use internet E-mail: forum@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.