Three of our children have suffered from a clinical depression at various times during adolescence. I suggest the following:

- Be aware of behaviors that can signal the presence of a clinical depression. These include use of drugs or alcohol, poor performance in school (especially a change from previous performance), eating disorders, feelings of hopelessness or sadness, frequent rage and anger, sleep disorders including extreme fatigue.- Seek advice from professionals. Begin with your child's pediatrician or family doctor. He/she can help you understand your child's behavior and can recommend other professionals.

- Pray for guidance as you work with your child and with professionals who are trying to help. Pray for your child, and encourage your child to pray for himself/herself.

- Participate in the therapy process. This may involve family visits with the therapist, discussing your concerns with the therapist and with your child, recognizing and changing your own actions that may be part of the problem. Don't take the attitude that the therapist will "fix" your child. You will probably need to change some of your attitudes and behaviors.

- Respect the confidentiality of your child's visits with the doctor or therapist.

- Take any threats or evidence of suicide seriously and get professional help. Your child's safety is most important.

- Be supportive and patient. You may have to insist that your child meet with the therapist, take medications, etc.

- Learn to accept and love your child for who she/he is. Recognize and show that you value your child's unique qualities and the activities that are important to her/him.

- Don't deny or shield your child from the consequences of his/her behavior such as poor grades.

- Realize change takes time. Be patient and honest with yourself and your child. Help your child focus on the progress he/she has made - even though there may be much further to go. - Name and location withheld

What we did:

Lift, praise

I am a social worker and work with clinically depressed youth routinely. Here are some general ways to help overcome depression:

- Help to maintain a high level of light; it brightens the soul.

- Listen, lift and praise; don't criticize.

- Help the youth find an activity or hobby that he or she may enjoy.

- Encourage the youth to go to bed early and rise early.

- Help the youth understand that he or she has a future and that he/she must prepare for it.

- See that the youth receives positive attention for appropriate behaviors and ample opportunities for such.

- Ensure compliance with physician's directions if the youth is on medication. - Kevin D. Hendrickson, Kingsport, Tenn.

Not result of sin

We had to recognize that the clinical depression was not the result of sin committed by the child or the parents. The depression was the result of chemical imbalances in our child. Parents alone cannot recognize or treat clinical depression. It takes the help of professionals who can diagnose the presence of the clinical depression or other psychological needs and prescribe appropriate medication to assist the individual to achieve a better quality of life. - Beverly Ann Markham, Mesa, Ariz.

Stable homes

All too often we isolate those who suffer because we do not understand the illness. Education about this disease is essential. Parents who learn about clinical depression are more capable of dealing with a child who suffers. We must provide happy, stable homes, opportunities for service, enjoyable family activities and plenty of opportunities to express feelings in an atmosphere of unconditional love. - Maureen Pinegar, Midvale, Utah

Talk with school officials

School may become a major problem, as concentration and problem-solving skills are often hindered or non-existent during depression. Communicate with teachers, school counselors and the principal, if necessary. We found that some of the most "difficult" teachers were the most willing to help and be patient when they knew of the problem. Remember that most school districts have some provision for students who are sick or unable to do their work or attend school for a while. Some even have a teacher who will visit with the student one-on-one at home or at school to help the student progress.

In addition, don't be afraid to take care of yourself. You will be under a tremendous amount of stress. Don't let yourself go. Take a night off with your spouse every week; it can be a life-saver for you. Be careful to not let yourself slip into a depression, too. - Name and location withheld

Love in action

The depressed person is often less responsive to help and less trusting than he/she would be otherwise. In such cases, it is easy to feel powerless to lift their mood. However, there are things that we ourselves, as the helper, can do to change ourselves.

- First, we can review our approach to the depressed person to see where we may have come across as critical or judgmental in the past.

- Second, we can ponder how love can more openly be expressed to them through actions (not words alone).

- Third, we should review the needs/interests of the person to see how we can become a good match for those needs when we are with them.

- Fourth, we may turn to others (such as their older siblings, home and visiting teachers) for objective feedback on our own relationship style and how we may be affecting the depressed child.

- Finally, we should solicit help from others who also care for the child, rather than be secretive or embarrassed about the child's condition. - Timothy B. Smith, Drexel Hill, Pa.

Caring about others

Teach the child to care about people outside of himself/herself and to do things for them. Include positive activities that are done secretly and that remain a secret.

Challenge the child to be happy and to look for the things in life that are good and right whenever you see the child. This will help the child to remember that you are his/her friend and that he/she can trust you. - Dale A. Miller, Lancaster, Calif.

Priesthood blessings

Encourage priesthood blessings. Heavenly Father is able to tell the depressed person something we can't. - Marilyn Knosp, Pocatello, Idaho

How to check list:

1. Pray for guidance, help; seek priesthood blessings.

2. Be aware of depressed behavior, signs of suicide.

3. Seek professional help; participate in therapy.

4. Be supportive, patient, loving; provide stable home.

Write to us:

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- Also interested in letters on these topics: "How to help young people show respect for authority in school," "How to be emotionally self-reliant," "How to place people above tasks."

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