Work on a quality a day, such as acceptance, affection, appreciation. I've chosen 54 qualities which I rotate.

- Study the scriptures on particular qualities. The Topical Guide lists many scriptures on humility. Sometimes I just read the Topical Guide and feel fed.- Use prayer. No matter how small the prayer, if it's sincere, it's humbling.

- Admit we have problems and sadness. Admission is humbling and helps us turn to God.

- Find meaning in the kindness you show to people, not the "showiness" you present to them. Some of us try to impress others because we want love, but this can be remedied by concentrating on showing love or kindness.

- Strip off all falseness and pretense. If we just be ourselves, we are more humble.

Sometimes a negative aspect in our personality, such as pride, is a cover-up for a fear of hurt and rejection. If a person has a deep-seated lack of trust in others' love, the associated pride may take years to overcome. But it is well worth the effort. And weaknesses do become cherished strengths. - Beverly Needham, Simi, Calif.

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What we did:

Use journal

This is an ongoing theme for me, so here are some suggestions:

- Be a peacemaker. Begin with yourself.

- List in your journal personal strengths and weaknesses. Evaluate your strengths and plan to magnify them. Evaluate your weaknesses and specifically ask the Lord how you can make them become strong. (See Ether 12:27.)

- Remove the focus from yourself and intensify charitable efforts toward the needs of others. Christlike service cures insecurity.

- Modify or revise your morning routine. Eating a healthful breakfast, having meditative scripture study, praying, smiling and exercising will drastically enlighten your attitude for the day.

I am grateful for the teachings of Jesus Christ and how He has taught us to become more Christlike. - Elder Dave McEntire, California San Diego Mission

Important virtue

Sometimes, when people talk to me, I seem to interrupt them in my enthusiasm to express myself. This is actually rude. By reading about the Second Coming, I've realized that patience is an important virtue in living life here on earth. Now I am learning to have more patience within myself by not rudely interrupting others when they are talking to me. Instead, I wait for my turn to talk, and the conversations really have positively changed. - Michael Whittlesey, Jessup, Md.

Pray for help

It's my firm belief that negative aspects of your personality, such as habitual lying, chastity problems, anger, loss of resolve, etc., are yours forever, just like a physical disability. When individuals can humble themselves to recognize this, they are then free to pray for help in finding the appropriate tools to deal with them. They should immerse themselves in the gospel, practicing the basics, so that when this ugly side tries to surface, they have the strength and knowledge to overcome. In Christ all things are possible. - Jennifer Thornburg, Albuquerque, N.M.

Change your attitude

Perhaps the easiest way to change or eliminate negative aspects of your personality is to:

- Change your attitude. Stop seeing personality traits in yourself and others as negative.

- Polish prominent personality traits while balancing them with their opposite traits, then express them in their most positive light.

- Remember that you are a unique individual, a child of God. He loves and appreciates you just as you are - Christine Probst, Bountiful, Utah

Common disguises

Pride is a negative personality trait. With shrewdness Satan has clothed pride in disguises. There are many disguises of pride that we can put on, not really being aware of it. For instance, do I feel uncomfortable when I think I might be wrong? Boasting, selfishness, usurping power, ingratitude, not forgiving are common disguises recognized by others, but not the perpetrator. It takes honest, prayerful examination of our actions to recognize the disguise.

Once you have come to the decision that you have been wearing a disguise of pride, apply the principles of love the Savior taught. Pray. Listen to the Spirit as you ask for guidance. Decide how you really want to act. Vividly feel yourself being that way instead of behind that disguise of pride. Let the behavior you decided on replace the disguise you are wearing. Enjoy the feeling that goes with it. - Sister Rosalie Christensen, Santiago Chile Temple missionary

Gratitude changes a heart

I have been so very blessed in my life. My parents have always been incredibly supportive and loving. They have taught, through word and example, how to live a righteous life. I am blessed with a husband that honors and sustains his priesthood and who puts first and foremost, above all, the interests of myself and our family. My children are good kids and are healthy and strong. I have brothers and sisters who give never-ending support and love. I have in-laws who have accepted me into their family with open arms and love. And all around me are wonderful people who are examples of faithfulness and who help me weather the storms of life. I often think of the scripture, "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required." (Luke 12:48.) I find that gratitude changes a heart full of pride to a heart full of humility and appreciation and that I can no longer "boast in [my] own strength," (Mosiah 11:19) but bow in humility and gratitude for the blessings of my life which ultimately come from a loving, compassionate and merciful Father in Heaven. - Jennifer P. Cloward, Summerville, S.C.

Like repentance

Eliminating negative behaviors or personality traits is not unlike repentance. I suggest the following:

- Recognize a trait as unacceptable. This may require asking trusted friends or family to point them out to you. In addition, who more trusted than the Lord?

- Have a sincere desire to rout out the trait.

- Have humble prayer and fasting.

- Leave the environment causing the negative trait, if possible. While this may be difficult, it is essential if we are to overcome and strive to perfection.

Most of all, eliminating negative traits takes a conscious effort. We need to catch ourselves and strive with all our might to turn from those things which would bring us down. - Kelly Knight, Phoenix, Ariz.

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How to checklist:

1 Pray for help; study scriptures about quality traits.

2 Use journal to list, evaluate your strengths, weaknesses.

3 Be humble, change attitude; have faith in Christ.

4 Visualize positive qualities; polish existing good traits.

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WRITE TO US:

Aug. 16 "How to prepare a child, youth for transition from elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school."

Aug. 23 "How to prepare yards, gardens for winter."

Aug. 30 "How to withstand temptation."

Sept. 6 "How to control your temper as a parent."

Sept. 13 "How to triumph over a physical disability."

Sept. 20 "How to cope with the death of a parent."

- Also interested in letters on these topics: "How to get out of a rut in your career," "How to be emotionally self-reliant," "How to place people above tasks."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2524 or use internet E-mail: forum@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.