In my life, I find that if I'm "in shape" physically and spiritually, I can be much more resilient. The following helps:

- Taking the time to communicate with Heavenly Father and learn His will though prayer.- Studying the scriptures and the words of the modern prophets and apostles.

- Serving others, which strengthens my spirit.

- Worthily partaking of the sacrament each week.

- Attending the temple on a regular basis.

These things help me keep balance and perspective in my life. I have found that those times when I am less resilient are the times when I have lost some of my spiritual perspective or am not caring for my physical body in the way that I should. If I'm caring for my body properly, I have much more strength and stamina to greet the day's challenges. It is important to do the following:

- Eat a balanced and healthy diet.

- Make time daily for exercise.

- Get adequate rest.

As we endeavor to do our very best in all that is required of us, He will bless us and we will be able to overcome all things. For as Ammon said, " . . . In his strength I can do all things." (Alma 26:12.) - Julie Ann Morain, Fort Collins, Colo.

What we did:

Life preservers

Some people are like life preservers; when pushed down, they always come bobbing back. When setbacks come their way, they bounce back, seemingly unfazed by an experience that might devastate another.

They achieve this resiliency by maintaining a positive, optimistic attitude, remembering that trials and tribulations are often opportunities for growth. They develop reservoirs of strength, testimony and faith so they can be sustained when their reservoirs are drained by life's difficult experiences. They get the "natural man" and sin monkeys from off their backs through scripture study, prayer, repentance and service to others. - Richard L. Ricks, Spring, Texas

Daily diary

Many things help me be more resilient. Every day I am thankful to see the morning light, so I thank my Heavenly Father for His protection and ask for further protection for the day ahead.

I assess my routine for the day and prioritize the goals that I made the night before. I don't always have time to write my goals down, but I keep a mental note and at some point in the day I make an entry in my daily diary. This helps me to keep a focus on my purpose, my Heavenly Father's love and my dependency on Him.

I do personal scripture reading and prayer every day. This is as important to me as my daily food.

I try to do my best at work every day, and if I do not achieve what I wanted to, I commend myself for trying and thank my Heavenly Father for His help.

If I am hurt by someone's actions or words I pray for strength to either forgive them without making a fuss or have a talk with them and resolve the matter in the hope of strengthening relationships.

I take the opportunity every day to give and receive love. - Edna Crabbere, Roanoke, Va.

Beautiful plan

Recently I was suffering a depression after coping with stress at work, too much work, my husband being out of town and Valentine's Day coming up. Feeling I was going in circles and no where but down, I took a pen and paper and began to re-evaluate my goals. I wrote "Goals" at the top of a page of line notebook paper and on the first line, "#1, The Gospel." I realized that everything in our lives is trivial in importance compared to our Heavenly Father's beautiful plan for us. I realized I was even being "me" centered. I filled three whole pages of things I could and should be doing in the gospel every day. Once re-focusing on why I was on this earth and how I could and should be a tool of my Heavenly Father, I discovered I had too much to do to be down or worried by trivial worldly, human afflictions. - Laresa Forbes, Bryan, Ohio

Eternal perspective

Those who try to inflict stress and pressure on us in our daily life may or may not even realize they are doing so. Sometimes we can even increase our own levels of stress by worrying about something more than we should. The best solution to bouncing back is to put our life back into perspective - eternal perspective. A family treasure broken by a child or a stabbing comment from a boss or co-worker have nothing to do with our eternal life with our Father in Heaven.

The only thing we really need to take completely seriously in this life are the instructions we receive from our Father in Heaven. - W. Denis Nurmela, Sun City, Calif.

Rely on the Lord

To be more resilient you have to pray regularly and rely on the Lord. You have to be strong and understand people. Realize that most of the time people aren't really out to hurt you and that they don't usually mean what they say or do. - Mary Owen, Elfrida, Ariz.

Peace within

Resilience is bouncing back from being distracted from the peace within. We can be taught ways by the Holy Ghost to bounce back from concentration on the earthly.

We can pause frequently to check our contact with God, who may be telling us truths about the situation we're presently in. - Malcolm Koch, Bountiful, Utah

Resolve, respect, recommit

We are counseled to rely upon the Lord in all we do and be diligent in daily scripture study and prayer. If we do these things, we'll be blessed with answers and comfort that can come in no other way. We can remember to be thankful for all of our blessings and to share those blessings with others. Resolving issues and repenting of mistakes will relieve us of burdens and heartache. We can resist temptation by wearing the armor of the Lord. (D&C 27:15-18.) Respecting ourselves and all of God's children will bring a certain peace into our lives. We should restore our faith in mankind and look to those things that are positive and worthwhile. Focusing on the negative issues in our world can only bring sorrow. Recommitting ourselves to serving others and living worthily to hold a temple recommend and attending when we can will bring us great joy and happiness. Applying these teachings in our lives will enable us to be resilient and accept with grace the blessings that come through life's trials.

When we are obedient in following the commandments and striving each day to walk in our Savior's footsteps, having resiliency against life's challenges will come naturally. - Sharon Duke, Salt Lake City, Utah

How to checklist:

1 Learn to rely on the Lord;

pray, study scriptures.

2 Keep things in balance; maintain eternal perspective;

develop reservoirs of strength.

3 Maintain spiritual, physical

conditioning; serve others.

4 Don't worry about the trivial;

develop a positive attitude,

prioritize, set goals.

Write to us:

July 18 "How to develop positive leadership qualities."

July 25 "How to teach young people sensitivity toward people with disabilities."

Aug. 1 "How to make transition from being newly married to becoming new parents."

Aug. 8 "How to help your wife feel more appreciated as a homemaker."

Aug. 15 "How to help your husband feel more appreciated as a provider."

Aug. 22 "How to protect your testimony."

Aug. 29 "How to plan ahead for the different stages of life."

- Also interested in letters on these topics: "How to avoid greed," "How to overcome compulsive eating," "How to help heal a family after a loved one has caused deep hurt," "How to avoid the gambling trap."

Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2524 or use internet E-mail: forum@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.