What we did: Birth of a child
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ADVICE FOR HUSBANDS
My advice is for husbands. Study the best books and ask questions of not only your parents, but also parents in your ward and other new parents.
Where possible, the husband should make changes in his schedules to better accommodate the increased needs of his wife and home. The stress on one's wife is reduced when the husband takes the lead in these areas during this transition.
The husband should also remember to be extra patient and kind to his wife who may occasionally feel overwhelmed by this new experience. A husband can do no better work than to be of comfort and service at this time.
Perhaps the most important counsel to husbands is to actively participate in every aspect of the child's care from the moment he or she is born. It is joyous to fall in love with the new person in your home who is a gift from your Heavenly Father. — Neil P. Reid, San Ramon, Calif.
SIMPLIFY LIVES
My husband and I have been married a little over a year, and we have a daughter who is 3 months old. Having a child has been a hard transition for us, but we have found a few things that really help us:
EVEN GREATER LOVE
After being married for a short time, my husband and I welcomed into our home a brand new baby boy. From the moment he was born, I felt an even greater love for my husband. Having brought this child into the world together made the bond between us even stronger.
At times, it is difficult to make time for each other between late night feedings and trying to catch up on households tasks. One thing we try to do is to make spending time alone together a priority. Many nights after our son is in bed, we spend a few minutes talking and catching up on the day. This time is precious to me. Even though we may both be tired we feel it is important that we make time for each other.
Reading scriptures and praying together is another important thing we try to do. This gives us an opportunity to grow spiritually together and to share our testimonies with each other. — Amanda McLaws, Salt Lake City, Utah
PRIVATE TIME
Within the space of one year, I transitioned from a very independent full-time student at an Ivy League college to a newlywed and then to a full-time mother. Although our marriage was based on holy temple covenants, these changes were quite a shock to my young psyche. The hardest of all was how I felt over my appearance. Some people sail through a pregnancy and childbirth and look fabulous. How fortunate I was and am to have a loving husband who managed to convince me that he thought I was beautiful when my mirror (and tactless friends and family) told the truth.
When I felt guilty about leaving our baby to go out on a date, he was adamant. He said, "Someday, she will grow up and find her own companion. When that day comes and she leaves us I want us to still be in love." Now, 16 years later and four more children, we find it is often hard to find the time, money and a willing baby-sitter, but we try to make private time for ourselves. — Joann Tupaz Vogtman, Torrance, Calif.
REQUIRED FAITH
Since my husband was attending a college that took us quite a distance from our extended families, we had the opportunity to spend our first two years of marriage on our own. This, we believe, was a great blessing which enabled us to build a strong foundation for our marriage.
Even though it did require of us a great degree of faith to begin our family right away, we were not afraid because we knew that our Heavenly Father's choicest blessings were promised to us if we heeded the counsel of His prophets. — Lisa Fotu, Poway, Calif.
