SPEAK OPENLY

Having been involved in financial counseling for more than 30 years, I've found that pre-communication is the key. Speak openly with your future heirs in a family gathering, such as a family reunion or specially called meeting, about your desires for distribution of your estate. Encourage them to speak openly to express their feelings as to your desires.

Understanding promotes fairness. It is far better to explain in person than to leave to the interpretation of writing, speculation and possible hurt feelings. Have a person act as scribe and then send a copy of the "minutes" to each future heir for review and ask them to send you a letter expressing their feelings. This gives each of them time to consider the meeting discussion in their quiet time and enhances communication. Then place a copy of the minutes and letters with the will. Desires may change, and the will and minutes may need adjusting. The same procedure should be used for changes. — Grant R. Ipsen, Boise, Idaho

ARRANGE A TRUST

Many parents have a tendency to favor a particular child. As a result, when preparing a will they may give this child more than a fair share. Thus, it is possible to not only have friction between children, but also resentment, not love, for the parents. No one wants that situation.

Regardless of the earthly property of the children involved, divide the estate equally. If you have a special article you wish one child to receive, give the other something they would like of equal value.

If you worry because one child may be a "spend-thrift," arrange with your attorney for a trust, with the trustee giving the property at his or her discretion, according to the needs of the child. Again, the trustee should be a mature friend.

Always seek the advice of an attorney for either a will or trust agreement. Peace of mind is worth the cost. — Henry F. Sharp, Bernville, Pa.

HELD A DRAWING

As executor of my mother's estate, I received no complaints. Her will simply granted equal shares to all her children.

I sold her home and gave each of her 10 children a tenth of the money. Any household item she had promised to anyone was given accordingly, and any item given her by anyone went back to that person. The remaining items were listed for a drawing as following:

Whoever drew number one got first choice from the list, number two had second choice, etc. After all 10 had chosen once, a second go-around was conducted, etc. The hardest part was to logically group small items, such as tools and books. One big wrench, for instance, had considerable value by itself. Books were listed as a choice of 12 or a set, such as encyclopedias.

To assure a fair cleanup, one listed item was "anything omitted from list." — Norval Turner, Murray, Utah

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

In my observation of others, I have discovered that if family members already have love for one another, they will be happy to give the home to a member of the family who has need for a home. A car or furniture is given to those who have a need. When greed or tension already exists within a family, no matter how a will is written or possessions dispersed, hard feelings will exist. The secret to making a will that will foster love is to have love already within the family. — Elaine Emmett, Lovell, Wyo.

YEARS OF GOOD EXAMPLE