Never give up

I had been excommunicated, but that didn't stop my visiting teachers from contacting me. I was visited and received frequent phone calls to check on my welfare. The most important thing they did for me was not to judge me but love me, care for me and most importantly, they never gave up on me. I'm happy to say I was rebaptized and am currently a stake missionary and homemaking lesson teacher. In addition, my husband joined the Church June 15, 1997, and we were sealed for time and all eternity Dec. 12, 1998, in the London temple. — Name withheld, England

Pray for them

We recently had the joy of attending the rebaptism of a former ward member. The room that evening was full of those of us who had never lost faith in her during the past 20 years. We had often inquired of the welfare of her family. We constantly encouraged her to attend Church meetings and invited her to attend Education Week seminars and Know your Religion series. Each year, we reminded her to renew the Church magazines. To her delight, we started her on her personal family research and helped prepare many names of her ancestors for temple work. Most importantly, we always remembered her in our prayers. — Thelma Lee Reeder, St. George, Utah

Be sensitive

Pray for the individual and pray that you will handle the situation in a positive and productive manner, according to Church teachings. Home teachers and visiting teachers can play a very important role by making sure the individual is visited monthly.

Welcome him/her every Sunday when you see them in Church. If they are not in Church on Sundays, invite them and encourage them to attend when making visits or calls to the individual. Remember that only one person in the family may be excommunicated or disfellowshipped; the rest of the family may be active or would like to be active. Be sensitive to their needs and concerns. Lend an ear to listen and always be a good example. Remember to love them back into full fellowship and encourage their progress.

Never criticize or condemn them in any way. It is not our place to judge. Just love the person back. —Elizabeth J. Praast, Quartzsite, Ariz.

Worth of souls

My experience is with my father, who was excommunicated soon after my mother passed away. In his sorrow after her death, he felt like he had no one who could understand or no one who could love him unconditionally like my mother did. He proceeded to fall. We realized soon after he was excommunicated that it takes a strong testimony of the Savior to understand that we have worth. Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. (D&C 18:10.)

He needed to acquire that testimony. As a family, we set out to help him understand that — to show love, not to force love, but let him know that if his family still thought he was worth it, then even more so does our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. Dad and his wife have since been rebaptized and are serving a full-time mission in a family history center. — Name withheld, New Mexico

Professional help

If the person's problems are above your ability to help them, direct them to those who can help them. The Church offers LDS Social Services; there are many qualified LDS counselors. A person with a major addiction needs professional help in dealing with it.

In cases where a family chooses to stay together even though one member has to go through the repentance process, then those in the Church should support and build up that family. — Name withheld, Washington

One day he'll remember

Five years ago, the father of my four children left us after a 13-year temple marriage. He doesn't currently live close to the gospel, but we have never stopped loving him and we pray every day that he will be touched by the Spirit and return to the Church which we know he knows is true.

The children stay in touch with him and our oldest daughter sends him articles, scripture references and even letters pleading with him to correct his lifestyle. We will never give up on him. We know Heavenly Father loves him as we do and know one day he will remember this and return to the Church. — Name withheld, Utah

Be trustworthy

• Keep the friendship alive.

• Participate in social activities together often.

• Don't dwell on the subject or bring it up to the person, but do be a good listener, if necessary.

• Support Church leaders. Encourage the person to continue to seek their guidance.

• Do not spread to others the person's situation. Remain trustworthy.

— Name and location withheld