Maybe it's time to consider our manners.

The whole issue of politeness and consideration is very much in the news these days, although maybe not in those exact terms. Instead, what we read about is road rage — seemingly normal people gone berserk when caught in a traffic situation. Or we read about an artist who specializes in giving offense wherever possible. We could also mention the crude and vulgar language that passes for comedy, or the popular songs whose lyrics may be sung but can't be spoken in civil company.

Manners are always changing, of course, and not always for the better. We value openness, freedom and informality more these days than when manners were first codified, but because we live more informally doesn't mean we have to live less agreeably, as one author on etiquette put it.

It would pay us to reconsider why we have manners in the first place. The very word "civil" arose when people started living more closely together in cities — civilized, as it were. If people were going to survive living in such close proximity to others, they had to develop ground rules of behavior, and indeed customs and mores arose in every part of the world where people lived in communities. These customs became the lubricant that eased social interactions. To be polite literally meant to be polished — the two words come from the same root. And someone who was polite showed not only good taste and culture, but also was refined and had good manners. It was an important personal attribute.

At first, manners were refined at royal courts — hence the word "courtesy." The opposite was someone who was vulgar, literally a common person without refinement or need for manners. Today, our definition of a courteous person goes well beyond its original meaning to designate someone who shows consideration for others and has an inherent thoughtfulness.

The world we live in today is very self-centered, which may be one reason that courtesy is in short supply. It's easier to separate ourselves from others — we can stay at home and be entertained by everything from television to computers, we don't have to use common transportation as long as we have a car, and we can quickly get to places where people don't know us. On top of that, our popular media flood us with entertainment created by people determined to push us to the very edge of our tolerance and, maybe, beyond. A few TV programs are models of civility, but many more appeal to the most vulgar elements in the pursuit of money.

A sign of how far we have come is that the state of Louisiana made headlines recently when it passed a law requiring students in kindergarten through fifth grade to address their teachers by "ma'am" or "sir," or to use courtesy titles such as Mr. or Ms.

Respect is, in fact, at the heart of good manners. All good manners are based on thoughtfulness for others and respect for them as individuals who, like us, were created for a nobler purpose. It's the essence of the Golden Rule. Jesus said: "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." (Matt. 7:12.)

At one point He washed the feet of His apostles in a demonstration of humility and courtesy, explaining over their protest, "The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them." (John 13:16-17.)

Church leaders teach that courtesy comes naturally as the Spirit of the Lord refines us. If we are touched by the Spirit, we are presumed to gain kindness and consideration for others.

Down through the years, leaders of the Church have been concerned about this quality for members. Brigham Young said, "A truly civilized person is one who is a real gentleman or lady; in language and manners he is truly refined, and gives way to no practice that is unhallowed or uncomely. This is what we are after, and trying to attain to." (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 356.)

Wilford Woodruff counseled: "Kind words and good manners will cost you nothing and will add greatly to the happiness of those around you." (The Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, p. 267.) And Joseph Fielding Smith, in Gospel Doctrine, admonished us to "Seek the very best society; be kind, polite, agreeable, seeking to learn whatever is good . . . that you may be a blessing to all those with whom you associate, making the very most and best of your lot in life." (p. 35.)

The apostle Peter said it simply: "Be courteous." (1 Pet. 3:8.)