Unwed and pregnant, Jennifer sat in a park near her college apartment. Family and friends did not know her secret. Marriage was not an option in her case. She cried until she was physically sick.

She thought about raising her child; a possibility for the young woman who had almost earned her college degree and whose family could offer financial support.

Then she read from her scriptures and "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."

"I knew I could give him everything but a dad and parents who were married in the temple," she recalled. "And those were the most important things."

She determined to place the child for adoption through LDS Family Services and gathered the strength to call her mother — who did not yet know of her problem. Together with her family she faced the next months, which she spent thinking about the baby she loved more than herself.

This November, National Adoption Month, Jennifer — one of an estimated 1.3 million unmarried parents to give birth annually in the United States — and her mother look back on their experience two years ago.

Around her neck Jennifer wears a pearl necklace; a gift from her son's adoptive parents. It is a symbol of the baby and experience she will never forget.

She remembers the day in the park. She remembers the call to her mother to tell her she was pregnant. She remembers the birth parent support groups they attended at LDS Family Services. She remembers the hours she spent reading her scriptures and in personal prayer. She remembers the four days she spent in the hospital with her new-born son. And she remembers the lonely elevator ride she took after relinquishing her baby for adoption.

"There is so much good," she said. "There is so much pain."

Now, Jennifer has a better understanding of sacrifice, repentance, the Plan of Salvation and the Savior's Atonement. Now, a childless couple has a son and a baby has two loving parents who will provide the blessing of an eternal family.

Watching her daughter experience pregnancy also taught Jennifer's mother many valuable lessons.

She, too, remembers the day Jennifer called home to say she was pregnant. She felt guilty, wondering if she had failed as a mother. She feared everyone in their small town, where her husband had served as bishop and she was Young Women president, would gossip. At first she hoped her daughter would have a miscarriage. Then she thought of raising the baby herself. Ultimately, through prayer, she felt at peace with Jennifer's decision that adoption would be the best thing for the baby.

She knew the coming months would bring them closer together or tear them apart.

So the family rallied around Jennifer, driving from their small town to her college apartment immediately after learning of her situation. Jennifer's father gave her a blessing. Her mother visited with the counselor at LDS Family Services. Her two brothers offered support, each in his own way.

It was hard for her oldest brother, a married father of a young son himself, to talk about the adoption. He couldn't imagine life without his own son. Her younger brother wrote a letter to the baby's adoptive parents, sharing with them his feelings about the Church, his sister and the baby.

Jennifer had selected the adoptive couple after reading files from LDS Family Services. One file jumped out at her instantly. The couple, who did not have children, reminded her of her own family.

She bought a few baby items and purchased duplicates, one for the unborn child and one for herself to remember him. She and her mother attended child-birth classes to prepare her for the day she would deliver.

In the back of her mind she always worried: "What if he believes that I didn't want him?" But the Spirit continually confirmed to Jennifer that her son would know her decision was made out of love.

"I will always love him," she said. "I am so grateful I am his birth mom."

Then came the day in June 1999 that the baby was born. Jennifer and her family held the child. They shared their hopes with him. They expressed their love to him. They sang him lullabies. They took many pictures.

Again they felt the peace of the Spirit confirming that it was not Jennifer's time to be a mother. So with the support of her family she placed her baby with his adoptive parents.

After the placement, Jennifer went through a hard time. "I was depressed. I never thought I would get married and have kids."

She would see a television commercial with children and cry. She would watch baby blessings during sacrament meeting and cry. She would hear lullabies and cry.

Then she started seeing a pattern: "The times I was depressed were the times I was thinking about myself. When I was thinking about my baby I had peace. I knew he was happy."

Six months later the baby was sealed to his adoptive parents in the temple. In time, Jennifer completed temple ordinances for herself and soon began dating a returned missionary whom she will marry in the temple.

Today, she treasures letters and pictures exchanged with her child's adoptive parents through LDS Family Services. She made a scrapbook for her son, complete with journal entries. Because adoptions are confidential, only non-identifying information is exchanged.

Jennifer also shares her experiences with others, hoping to help them. She has encouraged infertile couples to adopt. She has assured adopted troubled teens that their birth parents loved them.

Looking back, Jennifer says the experience has brought her family closer together. It gave them a perspective on other people's problems. It showed them the true meaning of love. It enabled two people who couldn't have children to become parents.

"There was a sin, then there was a baby, then there was a miracle," said Jennifer's mother. "Now there is a family."

E-mail: sarah@desnews.com