Opening hearts, home
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Update: Kory allowed to stay
Eight years ago, John and Louise Perkins, unable to have children, decided to adopt. But knowing the long waiting lists for "a healthy baby," they turned their attention — and hearts — to "children who really needed families."
Children such as Christian and Peter. They are brothers, 8 and 6 years old when they were adopted in 1994, and have what some call "special needs." Christian is developmentally disabled, and Peter has severe autism. Brother and Sister Perkins were told by acquaintances not to adopt a child with autism. "You'll be sorry. You'll never have a family relationship," they were warned.
Ignoring them, they went to Missouri to meet the boys. "I was petrified," Sister Perkins admitted. "I had never been around an autistic child."
What happened is now Perkins family lore. Arriving at the home where Christian and Peter were staying, she walked up to Peter. "I picked him up, and he put his little head on my shoulder. I said, 'That's all a mother needs.' "
Today, the Perkins family is a bit larger. Since the day Christian and Peter were adopted, six more children with special needs have "come home." Ages 18 through 6, they all have a story to tell — some a heartbreaking past they'd rather forget. They tell you about life after their "gotcha day," a term many adoptive families use to describe the day — a sort of second birthday — they brought home a new son or daughter.
"I love them," Brother Perkins said of his children. "They are really fantastic kids. Some are supposed to have attachment disorders, but there are moments when you see the love in their eyes. That's the best feeling of all when you know you can bring joy and happiness to someone who hasn't really had that opportunity in their lives.
"It makes me feel wonderful, especially when you see them smiling and loving and so happy. That's my goal from day to day."
His wife explained: "I just feel like it's my calling in life. When I see these children, I feel like they're mine." She sits cross-legged by a low table in her two-story home in Kearns, Utah, with 8-year-old Breanna lying nearby. The little blonde-haired girl was born prematurely at 3 1/2 pounds and has multiple disabilities. Sister Perkins keeps covering her daughter's feet, which get cold easily, with a gold-colored afghan. Breanna has few words in her vocabulary. One is "Mom." Another is "Daggy," her pronunciation for "Daddy."
The Perkins family are members of the Taylorsville 9th Ward, Taylorsville Utah Central Stake. They moved here in August 2001 from Sandy, Utah, and three years ago from Florida, where Brother and Sister Perkins met and married in 1990. (Converts to the Church, they were sealed in the Atlanta Georgia Temple in 1992. Sister Perkins has two daughters, Margie, 23, and Serena, 20, from a previous marriage. Serena lives in Utah, was married a year ago in the Salt Lake Temple to Enoch Irvine and is expecting her first child.)
Though the family is large, each child has his or her own place in this home. Each has his or her name stitched in white on a blue towel in the family bathroom. Each has a wood carving of his or her name on top of the living room hutch.
Allen, 15, who has autism, was adopted in 1995, a year after Christian and Peter. The young man loves white teddy bears; he is quiet and likes to play in his parents' bedroom.
In 1996, Brother and Sister Perkins saw a picture on the Internet of then-6-year-old Jesse, who has cerebral palsy. He was born at 28 weeks, 2 1/2 pounds, to a mother who was addicted to drugs and alcohol. He is now reading at a fourth-grade level, likes to play the board game "Trouble," loves to have his picture taken and loves hugs. On Sunday, Aug. 11, Jesse was ordained a deacon.
Jesse's then 13-year-old sister, Jolene, came to live here in 1997. "We found out Jesse had a sister in a foster home. We kept track of her," Sister Perkins recalled. When a prospective adoptive home for Jolene fell through, Brother and Sister Perkins called the adoptive agency once again. Now 18, Jolene leaves next month for the U.S. Coast Guard; she wants a career in rescue swimming. She also loves ballroom dancing.
In 1998, the family heard about Breanna, who cannot walk, talk, dress or feed herself, but laughs out loud when talked to. "She has been like an angel in our house. In the last ward in Sandy, our bishop would give her blessings and tears would run down his face because her spirit was so strong," Sister Perkins said. She then quoted from Hymn No. 227: " 'Jesus listening can hear the songs I cannot sing.' When I hear that song, I think of Breanna."
Two years ago, Stephanie "came home." Abandoned, Stephanie was living in a residential care facility. "She does not deserve that," Sister Perkins said of her tall, brunette daughter with a quick, shy smile. "She does not deserve to not have a family."
Today, the young woman, who turns 16 the end of this month, is one of her Young Women adviser's favorite girls, and her grades at school are improving. She loves cats and sports. And during the past year's Special Olympics, Stephanie brought home a handful of gold and silver medals in basketball, swimming and bowling.
"She has overcome extreme challenges," said Stephanie's new mother.
There is a lot of love and laughter in this home. And a lot of heartache. Six-year-old Kory came last November to his new home. But he doesn't know if he can stay. Born in Poland with no hands or feet, he was abandoned and reared in an orphanage. He came to the United States last year on a medical visa to receive prosthetic legs and was in foster care in Florida when Brother and Sister Perkins learned about him.
They are trying to adopt him, but are waiting on a permanent visa from the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service. Which may or may not come. The INS has questioned whether parents already giving a home to seven special needs children can financially handle another. Social workers have made positive home study reports and U.S. senators have written letters recommending the adoption.
As they wait for the INS decision, the family prays and hopes. Throughout the house, Sister Perkins has taped up scripture verses and quotes from modern-day prophets, including "Be still and know that I am God."
But the tears come easily. She tries not to think about the possibility of Kory leaving. And she prays for a 3-year-old blind girl named Marisol in Guatemala, whom they would also like to adopt. "We have had so many miracles from the community and the media," she said. To date, they have received 1,500 letters of support from people reading local news reports about Kory's plight.
When Kory came to Utah, he couldn't speak English. Now he is fluent. "He wouldn't talk about the orphanage," Sister Perkins said, speaking of when Kory first came to live with them. "But after about a month or two, he was sitting at the table quietly. He said, 'You know, Mom, when I was in Poland, I didn't have a plate. I didn't have a fork. All they gave us was a bowl and a spoon.' Little bits would come out like that. They had no toys. 'What did you do all day?' I asked him. 'Watch TV.' " The Perkins children do more than watch TV. Jolene, Stephanie and Christian are responsible for cleaning up after meals. Breanna loves her big brother, Christian, who is responsible for carrying her to her special chair by the kitchen table. And he cleans her up after meals. It's not uncommon to see the young man carrying a load of laundry.
On Sunday, they take up a row in Church. The children attend both regular and special needs Mutual. "The ward has been accepting since the first day. They took the children into their proper classes," Sister Perkins said, smiling. Their teachers adapt lessons as needed and include the children in all activities, including youth camp-outs.
"We've committed ourselves to every child we've taken into this house," Sister Perkins said of their large, diverse family. "When they enter these doors, they are part of this family, no matter what."
Just ask Jolene. With tears streaming down her face, she recalled how, for the first four years, she tested her new parents' love. She didn't believe this new mother really cared. Then last year, she realized: "She wouldn't send me away."
The two have T-shirts they now proudly wear. Jolene's says, "I'm Mom's REAL KID."
Sister Perkins' reads, "Because I'm the REAL MOM, that's why."
That's the "family relationship" so many told Brother and Sister Perkins in 1994 they would never have.
E-mail: julied@desnews.com
