Christmas arrives soon, a day looked forward to with a mixture of reverence, giving and, too often, getting.

It seems that every year stores are decorated earlier; many were already bedecked this year by mid-October. Television commercials touting gifts for Christmas began airing in September.

On many fronts, children have been exposed to "the getting season." Prompted by advertisements, commercials and store displays, many began compiling lists of what they want for Christmas weeks, even months, ago.

It's tough being a parent at this time of year.

Even the most conscientious parents are challenged as they try to teach their children what Christmas is really about: celebrating the birth of the Savior, the Promised Messiah, the Greatest Gift of all time.

However, children generally have their minds set on other kinds of gifts. Enticing commercials and advertisements lead many to believe that Christmas is all about "the stuff" they will get.

Parents compete with advertising so enticing and manipulative that children often feel they must have certain toys or particular brands of clothing. Somewhere in children's young minds forms the idea that if their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles really love them they'll give them whatever they want. And, of course, younger children have the notion that Santa will bring whatever they ask for.

Yes, it is tough being a parent this time of year. Or, for that matter, any time of year when it comes to dealing with children's expectations of what they think they are entitled to or ought to receive.

While parents want their children to be happy, excited and pleased with gifts on special occasions, they need to be careful that they don't go overboard in providing things that money can buy.

Adult reason, which ought to be passed along to offspring at some point, dictates that we can't or shouldn't always get everything we ask for, that there are limits to budgets and resources. And, most of all, tangible gifts don't measure love.

Instead of warming up voices to reverberate with jolly acclamations of the seasonal "Ho, Ho, Ho!" some parents might need to practice saying "No, No, No!" And be prepared to repeat it often. Most likely, children won't accept the first, second or even third "No" as the final answer.

A recent poll attempted to quantify what parents have known all along: Children will nag as often as they can to get something they want.

Reporting on the poll, Kiplinger's Personal Finance observed that children ages 12 to 17 will nag nine times on average. Those ages 12 and 13 "are a particularly pesky bunch: 11 percent admit to asking their parents more than 50 times for products they've seen advertised," Kiplinger's reported. Children in that latter group "are vulnerable to the barrage of advertising pitches for products that promise to make them fit in." (Deseret News, July 28, 2002.)

A pile of gift-wrapped packages is not what Christmas is all about, despite efforts of advertisers to make us think it is. And giving children whatever they ask for at any time of year is not what parental love is all about.

The Kiplinger report gave some suggestions for neutralizing children's nagging:

• Say "No" early and often. Younger children especially have short memories. What they ask for today, they will likely have forgotten tomorrow.

Children won't always take "No" for an answer, so follow up with a plausible "because." "No, you can't have a new racing-car set because you've already had two, and they break in three days."

• Watch TV commercials with your children so you can explain what's going on. They won't understand, unless you tell them, that all those lights and visual effects are intended to sell them something that might not be that much fun at home.

If parents haven't done so already, this might be a good time to start teaching their children the true meaning of Christmas. And start early so that expectations for material things don't rise to great heights.

Gifts and special treats, certainly, are in order at Christmas. But more precious will be the gift of a parent's time, talking and listening. And during this time, parents can tell of Christmases past, beginning with the accounts recorded in the holy scriptures and what that momentous first Christmas has meant to all the world.

Especially at this time of year, we all ought to focus on the Greatest Gift.