PROVO, Utah — Amid computers, video games and televisions, homes can become a place of isolation and loneliness instead of a place where family members communicate openly, said Ardeth G. Kapp April 2.

Photo by Rod Boam

Kameryn Swainston, 7, spends time learning to make pies from her grandmother, Raquel Hansen of Preston, Idaho.

Speaking at the closing session of the BYU 2004 Family Expo, Sister Kapp said families can forge connections through communication.

"May we be prepared to guard our homes and our families with the communications that we have, first with our Heavenly Father and then with each other," said Sister Kapp, former Young Women general president who recently completed service as matron of the Cardston Alberta Temple.

The ninth annual Family Expo, held April 1-2 at the BYU Conference Center, was designed to strengthen families and offer relevant advice to parents and others.

Speakers — including Truman G. and Ann N. Madsen, Richard and Linda Eyre, Randy L. Bott, Wendy L. Watson, Brent L. Top, and Bruce A. Chadwick — discussed topics such as temple and family, keeping an eternal perspective in marriage, family communication, conflict resolution and proper discipline.

Hundreds attended the two-day event, sponsored by BYU Religious Education, the Alumni Association, KBYU, Continuing Education and the College of Family, Home and Social Sciences.

During her address, Sister Kapp recalled growing up in a small farming community in southern Alberta, Canada.

After leaving the town to attend school in Provo, Utah, Sister Kapp called home by dialing the long distance area code and her family's single-digit phone number: 3. The telephone operator called her by name, saying " 'Ardeth, your mom and dad are at the temple.' . . . Just hearing the operator call me by name told me that someone cared about me," she said.

Communication, she added, was easier then when homes did not have video games and family members talked while washing and drying dishes or when making ice cream, for example.

"We must be prepared to hold tight (to some of those traditions)," she said. "Some of the things from the past we must not let go of."

Sister Kapp offered five keys to successful family communication.

• Seek to get a fresh look and new perspective and change of mind. "With a change of mind we can have a change of heart, a willingness to see things in a different way," she said. "We not only look but we begin to see, we not only listen but we begin to hear. We can look at something the same way for so long that we don't see other possibilities."

• Remember the importance of time spent together with a purpose. One grandmother told Sister Kapp that "there isn't a place for grandmothers anymore." Grandchildren give grandparents a hug "and then go back to the video games."

  "The question isn't what should we do together," Sister Kapp said. "The question is what do we want to have happen as a result of us being together."

• Remember the importance of time spent alone with a purpose. "We need to build ourselves spiritually," said Sister Kapp. "Get by yourself and think of the Lord and the things of the Spirit. . . . The war is on and we are in a time of needing to be able to communicate. Let us cry unto the Lord that our words will not be misunderstood. Everyone in the family can play such a very important role."

• Keep the batteries of family relationships charged. Do those things that will increase spirituality, she said. "We know those things." And keep "humor in your communication and in your lives," she added.

• Remember that everyone counts. "We need to see ourselves in a connecting link, that we are part of that link," Sister Kapp concluded. "We need to feel the importance of every individual."

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