A group of kindergartners took a field trip to the local pizzeria to learn how one of their favorite foods is prepared. The restaurant's manager explained to the curious group the ingredients that go into the dough and how it is shaped. They watched as expert hands then kneaded the dough and stretched it by tossing it into the air and spinning it to expand its size. The dough was then placed on baking sheets ready for the oven. Sauces were spread on the dough, and the manager and his cooks prepared several pizzas with many toppings for orders that had been phoned in and for the lunchtime crowd that soon would arrive.

At one end of the preparation area, a large table had been set up for the class and several prepared pans of dough were waiting. "OK," the manager announced to the children, "let's make your pizzas. Here are the toppings, and here is your dough."

In the ensuing chaos as little hands took fistfuls of peppers, onions, mushrooms, olives and pineapple chunks and piled them on top of the dough, the teachers and the parents who accompanied the group stood back observing the busy scene.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing," one parent said. "My daughter likes only one thing on her pizza. She's not going to eat any of these."

With toppings piled high, the pizzas were placed in the oven and the class, teachers and parents adjourned to the seating area awaiting their lunch. The pizzas were cut and served to the children, who consumed all the different concoctions.

The restaurant manager assured the teachers and parents that, for as long as he had conducted these field trip sessions, he had yet to see any leftovers after the children had created their own "works of art."

In a sense, this trip to the pizzeria is, in microsm, a lesson in agency, even though the children had not reached the age of accountability.

As parents, we want our children to experience many different and exciting things in life. We show them how things are made and guide them in their decisions as best we can. We teach them how things go together, how people get along and work together, and then we watch as they go out and experience life on their own.

Sometimes as they go about their tasks, we want to jump in and help them or even complete the tasks for them, but we know if we interfere with their efforts, they do not grow or learn for themselves the consequences of their actions.

Yes, we want to keep them from danger; yes, we want to let them fulfill their dreams and help them when they need encouragement or get discouraged. But ultimately we, as parents, have to stand back and observe as they make choices and account for their actions.

Like watching a group of kindergartners pile ingredient after ingredient on top of a pizza, we might not like their choices. Those choices might not be our choices — given our experience and our own preferences — but they are their choices and sometimes, as parents, teachers and adults, we have to let them make them, no matter how difficult it might be.

We take comfort in the scriptures: "Submit yourself therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw nigh unto God, and he will draw nigh unto you" (James 4:7-8).

Despite our misgivings and an urge to step in, we often just have to await the outcome and hope for the best. Like the pizzeria manager said, "When they make it themselves, it doesn't matter what is on it, it's theirs and they eat it."

As much as we'd like an outcome to be different, we often have to let the consequences play themselves out. Our goal for our children is to build character and teach correct principles, so that when faced with multiple ingredients or choices, our children choose the ones that will ultimately benefit them in the end. The task along the way might be messy and the finished product might not appear appetizing, but the need for them to do it their way is paramount.

President Gordon B. Hinckley has said, "Believe in yourselves, in your capacity to do things that are good and worthwhile and upstanding. . . . Seek the Lord if you are stumbling. Believe in your capacity to learn and make something of your lives. Stand tall and go forward" (The Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, p. 715).

The lesson at the pizza shop is that as we exercise our agency, we can grow and learn and share one with another.