In many ways, a particular ward in Salt Lake City is typical. Its membership includes families as well as single adults, men and women of the older generation, many of younger ages and some in their middle years.

Since there are numerous apartment complexes within its boundaries, the ward's membership is highly transient; only a few dozen are "permanent" members. In some cases, names are learned just shortly before another moving van appears or the elders quorum is called upon to help move belongings, and faces that finally had become familiar are, once again, replaced by new faces. Still, a deep sense of fellowship is felt among the members.

Many members, as they prepare to move from the ward, express gratitude for the opportunity they've had to be part of it, even if for only a short time. Invariably, they talk about the "spirit" of the ward, and comment about how welcomed they have felt, how friendly and accepting the members have been.

One who has lived in this ward for about 30 years noted this sterling characteristic: "In all the years I've been a member of this ward, I have not heard any gossip, and I've not heard anyone complain about or criticize leaders or officers in the ward or stake."

Perhaps this absence of gossip and criticism is part of what gives this ward its special "spirit."

It is so easy to criticize or gossip about others. In some environments, it seems to be an ordinary way to pass time, almost as if criticism, gossiping and judging others were a viable form of recreation.

"Where there's smoke there must be fire," some might declare in defense of their role in spreading gossip or rumor. The pundit could add, "But you don't have to add more kindling to the flame started by malice, greed, envy or jealousy."

Another's faults are easy to see. Some effort might be required to detect an individual's positive characteristics. One man said that when he was a young boy his mother insisted that the children in the family say something nice about each other. The man said that his brother seemed unable to identify anything that he liked about him but, in order to satisfy their mother's demand, the brother eventually declared, "I like your hair."

What we say about others reflects more about ourselves than it reveals about them. No one has ever improved his own character by assailing that of another.

Parents and other adults need to be careful of what they say in the presence of children. It is from adults that children most often pick up negative thoughts or pass on gossip or erroneous judgments of others. And sometimes children don't even understand what it is, exactly, that they're criticizing in a classmate at school or friend in the neighborhood.

Many scriptures caution against evil speaking, backbiting and finding fault with one another. Of faultfinders, Brigham Young said, "The Spirit of God has no place in (such) persons" (Journal of Discourses, 8:13).

The ward mentioned above welcomes everyone. And everyone can feel welcomed and accepted when such a ward — or a neighborhood, school or place of work — makes no room for gossip and criticism.