As one legend has it, some time during the late 1860s women in the Southern United States began the practice of placing flowers on the graves of Civil War soldiers at the end of May.

But there are other legends, as well. Several small towns in both Southern and Northern states lay claim to similar traditions, their citizens gathering each year to honor the dead. The tradition of a Memorial Day evolved in the United States, just as similar holidays have arisen in other nations.

Regardless of how these began, they are beautiful traditions. Unlike the wars in which these soldiers died, memorial observances unite people. The dead from all sides of conflicts are honored. Thoughts turn to the examples of sacrifice and honor, of courage that puts the needs of others ahead of the powerful urge to survive.

There is great value to providing such honor to soldiers who bravely gave their lives, and there is great value to providing it to others, as well, whose lives have blessed succeeding generations through their examples. As with the tradition of placing flowers on graves, honoring those who have passed from mortality has a uniting effect.

In addition, for many people it can be just as important to pay homage to the living, particularly aged parents and relatives whose lives deserve honor and respect. A person who feels he has nothing to learn from those who have gone before is being foolishly arrogant.

"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee" (Exodus 20:12). Those were the words of the Lord to Moses, and they remain true today. The proper honor of ancestors is an essential element to orderly civilization, prosperity and blessings from God.

What does this mean? President Spencer W. Kimball said, "If we truly honor (our parents), we will seek to emulate their best characteristics and to fulfill their highest aspirations for us. No gift purchased from a store can begin to match in value to parents some simple, sincere words of appreciation. Nothing we could give them would be more prized than righteous living for each youngster" (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 348).

Modern revelation has shed great light on this sacred relationship between the present generations and those who have passed through the veil. The prophet Elijah visited Joseph Smith in order to restore keys making it possible for us to bless the lives of our ancestors through temple ordinances. This important sealing power has led many people to research the personalities and stories of the past so that they may get to know their ancestors personally.

President James E. Faust, second counselor in the First Presidency, spoke of the bond this research can create. "My grandparents have had a great influence on my life," he said. "Even though they have been dead for many years, I still feel their confirming love. One grandfather, James Akerley Faust, died before I was born. I knew him only through the stories my grandmother and my parents told about him. However, I feel a strong kinship with him because I am in part what he was" (October 2003 general conference; Ensign, November 2003).

A 2006 survey by AARP found that genealogy web sites are the fifth most viewed places on the Internet. People everywhere are learning the joy of discovering past generations and, in the process, discovering themselves.

But that discovery will have little meaning unless it leads people to truly honor their ancestors by emulating their best examples and living lives that honor their legacies. Whether you visit a cemetery as part of Memorial Day observances in the United States or as part of traditions in other parts of the world, that is an important principle to always keep in mind.