In boardrooms across America, some of the great leaders of the world's largest corporations are beginning to understand what members of the Church have long been taught over the pulpit: setting aside a special time each week for the family to be together builds unity and strengthens love for each other.

Perry Christensen uses simple projects such as planting flowers to strengthen relationships with daughters Heather and Kylie.

Photo by Jen Christensen

Having fun together makes for happy memories and happy families, just as Perry and Susan Christensen are enjoying with daughters Heather, Kylie, Bre and granddaughter Alyssa. Good home lives are result of doing good things together.

"The world is speeding up and many leaders of business are feeling guilty that they have less and less time to spend with their families," said Ben Porter, who, in Colorado Springs, Colo., has teamed with his business partner, Perry Christensen, near Dallas, Texas, to help executives find balance between home and office.

"In our work as management consultants, we have found a growing number of people who have become successful at work, but at the expense of their families," said Brother Christensen. "Too frequently, a success spiral upward at work leads to a downward spiral in the home. Many executives are frustrated that success in the world comes at the cost of their families in the form of divorce or recalcitrant children. They struggle to find a way to succeed at home and in business."

Ironically, such executives may command an army of workers and be the cool cucumber in billion-dollar negotiations. They make executive decisions from their plush offices and understand the details of an accounting ledger.

But when it comes to blessing the lives of those who matter most, they are often clueless. They have neither the tools nor the techniques to foster family relationships. And, adds Brother Porter, failing at home can lead to failing in business.

"It is difficult to build an effective organization on a foundation of crumbling marriages and deteriorating family relationships," said Brother Christensen.

"Such a concept as family home evening is not rocket science for members of the Church," he continued, "but the notion of devoting an entire evening to family where everyone participates and memories are made is entirely new" to many business leaders.

The desire of the two partners to help executives in their private lives stemmed from their professional work with these people as business consultants.

In the course of working with the upper echelon business leaders, said Brother Christensen, "We heard their frustrations. We saw marriages ending in divorce, and children estranged from their fathers. We decided we needed to do something.

"We brainstormed, then drew from our background and expertise as management consultants. The very mechanism we were using to help them improve as managers would work equally as well as the mechanism to help in their homes."

As business consultants, Brother Christensen and Brother Porter used a program titled Management 360, a popular method of evaluating the performance of upper echelons executives by surveying those around them, such as colleagues, subordinates and supervisors.

Turning to the family, they retooled the idea to form Family 360, where the spouse and children are surveyed to form a more complete view of how the executive functions as a parent and mate.

They began with themselves. On his review, Brother Porter drew high marks, for the most part, as a father. But, surrounded by the seven people he loved most, there were some "stinging criticisms."

Seems some felt he didn't spend enough time with them, and when he did, he was distracted. Another felt he showed favoritism. Another thought he didn't play enough Frisbee.

"To see tears in the eyes of my (then) 11-year-old daughter just killed me," he said. "I love playing basketball and shooting hoops with my boys, but I had no idea my daughter was feeling left out."

He began holding one-on-one activity nights with his children, which included throwing a Frisbee with his youngest.

The point is to make memories, said Brother Porter. "Many think it takes a big event — the Disney vacation — to make memories. But it's the little things, the sipping of hot chocolate together, that they'll remember."

This means making current memories, adds Brother Christensen. "Try to create new memories over the next week," he counsels.

With all this counsel, the partners caution, there is one more piece of valuable advice. "Don't forget your wife. She is not to be treated as an afterthought, like a caboose. She is not an employee that can be ordered around. As you walk up to the door after a day of work, leave your business concerns and your attitudes behind; transition your feelings to being a loving father and spouse."

As word of their work has spread, major national news programs like Good Morning America, ABC World News, and Fox News Live have featured their efforts. Countless other news stories in The New York Times and Wall Street Journal and broadcast reports have documented their work.

Teaching parents to rally their families around them is answering a crying need in the business world from people who care about their families, they say. For members of the Church, the answer has always been as simple and as convenient as next Monday evening.

E-mail to:shaun@desnews.com

Suggestions

Most common problems:

• Not spending enough time with spouse.

• Treating family members like "subordinates" — always in a "task mode."

• Lack of patience, particularly when transitioning from work to home.

• Best family memories tend to be ancient history.

Most common recommendations:

• Calendar regular date nights with spouse.

• Include important family activities in the work calendar.

• Create regular "game nights" and regular "family councils" with family.

• Focus on creating memories today.

• Transition from work tempos and attitudes to a "soft re-entry" into home — focus on feelings not tasks.

• Write out and discuss with the family your "family legacy" — what you want to achieve as a family.

Samples from Family 360:

• List three of the most memorable experiences you have had as a family.

• List three to five things that you appreciate most about each other.

• List three to five positive attributes, behaviors or values that you will remember most about each other in the years to come.

• What two things do you want to do more frequently as a family?