Spirit of homemaking sustains LDS families
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Over the past two weeks, the Church News has captured highlights from the Feb. 9, family-themed broadcast featuring addresses by President Thomas S. Monson and President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve, and a roundtable discussion that included Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve, along with general auxiliary leaders Sister Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president; Sister Susan W. Tanner, Young Women general president, and Sister Cheryl C. Lant, Primary general president.
This week's concluding article on the roundtable features discussion on creating a nurturing climate, lasting homemaking principles and the value of family dinners.
Introducing the challenge of creating a nurturing climate in the home, Elder Holland spoke of the Church's invitation to both fathers and mothers to be in the home as much as possible.
Sister Lant acknowledged that much of the world is trying to pull families away from the home — often in pursuit of material things. "We really need to take a careful look at our lives and priorities — Are we too busy? Are we trying to do too much? — and look at the things that really are going to make a difference in the lives of our children and make sure that it's the spiritual things that we're not excluding."
The word nurture means to help make grow, added Sister Beck. Something can't grow where it's too dry, too cold, or if the ground is too hard.
"The job of parents in rearing children is to keep that climate where things can grow with the Spirit, where there's faith and hope and charity," she said.
Elder Oaks spoke of his mother, who played the role of family breadwinner when his father died young. She had limited time to spend with her children, so she made sure each moment together counted.
"She looked to what we did in the scarce time that we were privileged to be together," said Elder Oaks. "She liked us to work on projects together. I look back on that with greater affection than I experienced at the time. It seemed like mother was always organizing us to do some project to clear out the garage. But I look back on it, and I realize that she was pursuing a very important parenting function in getting the children to work together with their parent."
Families lacking the skills to create a healthy home are victims of "emotional homelessness," said Sister Tanner.
"People who do not have a place to go to that has the Spirit, that has the emotional stability, that has the principles that we've been talking about, have a lot of the same problems of despair, of turning to drugs or immorality, that street homeless people have."
Homemaking, for some, is a disparaging word, Elder Oaks said. Perhaps that word needs to be better defined.
Homemaking
"Homemaking is not just baking bread or cleaning a house. Homemaking is to make the environment necessary to nurture our children toward eternal life, which is our responsibility as parents. And homemaking is as much for fathers as it is for mothers," he said.
Elder Holland later asked what local Church leaders can do to strike that balance between families and scheduling and calendaring.
"Let's have parental time on agendas as we make up schedules, not just fitting every conceivable meeting and activity into the Church calendar without regard to what that does to families," suggested Elder Oaks.
Wisdom and good judgement must be enlisted by all to find the balance between family and Church duties, Elder Holland added.
Family dining
"In the true spirit of homemaking...I hope we can again sit down at a common dinner table in a family," he said. "I think almost any sociologist who has no affiliation with the Church at all would say, and they do say, that perhaps nothing is as unifying in the course of a family's week as to eat together." (See "Family Dinner," Church News, Sept. 8, 2007, p. 5.)
It was the Savior, said Sister Beck, that set the example by gathering His disciples around Him so they could dine together and receive valuable instruction about feeding His sheep.
"(Christ) created the setting for that marvelous teaching, and it was a mealtime. And I think that wasn't accidental."
Families can find safety during perilous times by living the gospel.
"If we'll cling to the doctrine of the Church...we'll get through, we'll have answers to our prayers and we'll stay founded on true principles," Elder Holland concluded. — Jason Swensen
