Divine responsibility to care for children
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And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. — Isaiah 54:13
A common theme throughout the scriptures relates to children — that they are treasures entrusted to parents and families. And that filling their needs for spiritual, emotional and physical nourishment is a divine responsibility.
Even Nephi, in describing the rebellion of his older brothers upon the seas, wrote plainly about the needs of his youngest siblings: "And Jacob and Joseph also, being young, having need of much nourishment, were grieved because of the afflictions of their mother." (1 Nephi 18:19).
It is this "need of much nourishment" that is an ever-present concern for Primary General President Cheryl C. Lant and her counselors in the general presidency, Margaret S. Lifferth and Vicki F. Matsumori. Speaking of the challenges in a fast-paced society and of the influences of the world on the family, the general presidency met with the Church News recently. From this conversation came valuable counsel on media, having too much or too little, the value of reading together, physical activity, disabilities and the role of the Holy Spirit in the home and in the lives of children everywhere.
"We all know that the world is ever encroaching on our children," Sister Lant said. "It seems to be worse than ever, and it seems to constantly reach down to younger and younger children. Young children are the victims here — they need the protection that can come from their families and other responsible adults."
Create a home safe from evil
Emphasizing that children need to be taught how to protect themselves from being victimized, Sister Lant suggested several things parents and responsible adults can do:
• "Create a home environment that is safe from evil influences as well as people. Determine what you will allow into the home — media, games, activities, etc. Be there as a good example.
• "Set boundaries for their activities that will keep them safe. Participate in wholesome activities together as a family. Enjoy each other.
• "Teach them correct principles. Be consistent and don't be afraid to be a parent.
• "Center your family and your activities in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
• "Remember, it is not easy to be 'in' the world but not 'of' the world. Families and gospel are keys.
• "Pray together, read scriptures together, have family home evening. It all comes down to the 'basics."'
In addition, parents should not be overcome by fear, Sister Lifferth added. They should "move forward with confidence knowing that they have the tools to protect and fortify their children against the evils of the day."
Sister Matsumori emphasized the need to help children learn what invites the Spirit into their lives and to recognize what might offend the Spirit and how to leave a bad situation. "They will know because they've experienced it at home through prayer and scripture study."
Too little, too much
Speaking of the "fleeting moment of childhood," Sister Matsumori pointed out, "Poverty can rob children of their childhood, but so can affluence. When children have so much, the tendency is to grow up at a faster rate. Faddish clothing, the latest games and the biggest toys feel like a necessity in an affluent society. Parents can help by saying 'No."'
She added that activities such as flying a kite and baking cookies can build relationships with children and provide memories long after the latest fashion has disappeared.
Sister Lifferth emphasized that childhood is literally "a once in a lifetime opportunity" for parents to teach their children the gospel.
Sister Lant and Sister Lifferth cautioned against over-scheduling. "If there is too much pressure on (children) to do things and excel, they get discouraged and feel that they are of little worth," Sister Lant said. "It is better to give the child opportunity to develop talents and abilities, but try not to give them too much."
Activity is important
Society has changed, Sister Lant said, in that in many neighborhoods it is not safe to let children bike to school alone or run and play alone outdoors. But being active is important. "I believe that we need to encourage schools to keep their physical education and activity programs."
However, it comes back to the family, she emphasized. "Sometimes, as parents, we have to divide and conquer — Mom goes with some of the kids to one activity, and Dad goes to another with the rest of the kids."
Regardless, she said, keep it simple. "Playing ball, walking or running together, working in the yard together are all good. Balance work with play."
The general presidency pointed out the power of example of parents being active themselves.
Build a love for scripture
"Reading to children is a blessing because it gives them a love of books and builds a bond and relationship," Sister Lant said. However, what parents and children read together can be things of value. While there is a place for fairy tales, Sister Lant urged parents to read the scriptures with children and when they're young to share stories from the scriptures.
"Let's build in (children) a love for scriptures and a love for the Lord."
Being sensitive to differences
Sister Lifferth encouraged parents to talk with their children about disabilities and to help them understand other children with disabilities. "For the most part, children can respond with friendship and compassion in appropriate ways if they know what to expect and how to be helpful. Parents can set the example on this and help their children to overcome fear or discomfort."
Emphasizing the importance of helping children be sensitive to any differences — whether they be disabilities or related to race or religion, Sister Matsumori added: "The best way we can help a child be sensitive to these differences is in our own attitude and example. If we shy away from those who are different, or if we talk disparagingly about others who do not look or behave the same way as we do, we set a negative pattern for our children to follow.
"I've heard it said that a child with disability is 90 percent abled and 10 percent disabled. We need to help our own children find ways to connect with the 90 percent that is the same and then learn how to help in the 10 percent disabled area."
Sister Lant pointed parents, teachers, leaders and members with disabilities to the Church's Web site at www.lds.org. Under Primary and under Home and Family are resources on disabilities.
The Primary general presidency also encouraged parents of children with disabilities to be patient with Primary leaders and teachers and to seek to meet with them on how best to teach the gospel to children with disabilities and to help them participate.
Seek counsel to bless family
Sister Lant and her counselors urge parents to listen to proceedings of the upcoming general conference for counsel on how to protect their children from the negative forces in society. They also urge parents to follow the basics: reading scriptures together, holding regular family home evening, holding family prayer and setting an example of obedience in the home.
The Lord, they said, will magnify their efforts.
E-mail to: julied@desnews.com
