The battle against pornography is doable and rewarding, said Jill Manning during a conference sponsored by the Utah Coalition Against Pornography.

"Pornography cannot win," said Sister Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist who testified before a U.S. Senate subcommittee on the harms of pornography and is author of the book, "What's the Big Deal About Pornography: A Guide for the Internet Generation."

"As destructive and concerning as it is, we must remember that it is rooted in fraudulent messages, is pathetic in nature and agenda and is not founded upon sustainable principles."

The best defense against pornography is simple: "We must teach boldly and plainly, often and well."

Sister Manning said she has come to believe that helping parents and leaders feel more confident and informed in discussing this issue is a necessary and effective tool in combating pornography on a large scale.

"A discussion about pornography can provide an opportunity to clarify values, beliefs, express opinions and instill truths that are of importance on many fronts," she said.

Part of the way to do this is to start having "new kinds of conversations about pornography — ones that go beyond scary statistics, frightening forecasts, graphic details and dire realities, and which shift into dialogs that are empowering, hopeful and arm people with practical strategies for being able to address this issue in their own homes effectively."

This process can take place by identifying several key principles:

Reframe censorship: "The pro-pornography camp wields the word 'censorship' as leverage for shutting down discussion about the harmful effects of porn," she said, "however, we must keep in mind that pornography itself censors essential aspects of healthy relationships and living."

Learn a little about the law: The assumption by many youth is that "all pornographic content is legal and legal for everyone to use." In reality, obscenity is not protected under the First Amendment and it is illegal for sexually explicit content to be distributed to or shown to minors.

Reclaim the word "adult": Sister Manning said the word "adult" has sadly become synonymous with pornographic content and that "we must reclaim the true and best meaning of the word in order to communicate a respectable and desirable period of life rather than a license to look at sexual content."

Reclaim the home front: "Approximately 83 percent of pornography youth encounter is seen in the home through the Internet and cable television. Subsequently, we have a great deal of power to affect the majority of porn exposure our children face," she said.

Reverence the body: Parents should teach and model respect for the body.

Elevate human nature: A person should "speak optimistically of human nature and the manner in which pornography degrades our potential and emphasizes our most base qualities," she said.

Teach healthy sexuality: The best defense against pornography is teaching healthy sexuality, she said, noting that children want their parents to be the source of this information. "Closeness to parents is a well-documented buffer against substance abuse and sexual acting out."

Elevate relationships: People should strive "to model healthy relating in marriage, friendships and parenting so that children can learn the skills necessary to achieve satisfying relationships in their own life."

"It is my hope that we will seek out ways to help the Internet generation navigate the fraudulent sexualized messages they face and reassert our role as trustworthy, frank and authoritative leaders in their lives. Remember there isn't one right way to discuss this topic — find a framework or analogy or way to talk about this that fits for you and draws upon values that are important to you and your family."

sarah@desnews.com