President Monson: School feelings from harshness
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While watching a television newscast, President Thomas S. Monson said, he noticed that many of the lead stories were similar in nature, being tragedies that all traced back to one emotion: anger.
In his priesthood session address, President Monson said he thought of the words of the psalmist: "Cease from anger, and forsake wrath" (Psalm 37:8).
He told of a young couple who came to his office for counseling many years ago. Life had been good for them as they had been married in the temple, the husband had good employment in his chosen field and the wife had given birth to a baby boy.
President Monson related that when the son was about 18 months old, the family was traveling on vacation by car, this at a time when seat belts and child car seats were scarcely heard of, so all three were in the front seat. The couple had an argument that escalated and, in a moment of anger, the husband threw one of the boy's toys in the direction of the wife. It struck their son, resulting in brain damage to the boy that handicapped him for the rest of his life.
"This was one of the most tragic situations I had ever encountered," President Monson said. "I counseled and encouraged them. We talked of commitment and responsibility, of acceptance and forgiveness. We spoke of the affection and respect which needed to return to the family. We read words of comfort from the scriptures. We prayed together. Though I have not heard from them since that day so long ago, they were smiling through their tears as they left my office. All these years I've hoped they made the decision to remain together, comforted and blessed by the gospel of Jesus Christ."
Noting that there seem to be countless possible reasons for anger, President Monson told of an experience of President Heber J. Grant, seventh president of the Church. As a young adult, President Grant did work for a man, then felt slighted by the payment he was given. Ascertaining that the man had not meant to insult him, an older friend told him, "A man's a fool who takes an insult that isn't intended."
Posing the question of whether it is possible to feel the Spirit of Heavenly Father when one is angry, President Monson said, "I know of no instance where such would be the case."
He said that to be angry is to yield to Satan's influence. "No one can make us angry," he said. "It is our choice. If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry."
President Monson recounted the incident from Church history in which Elizabeth Marsh, wife of Elder Thomas B. Marsh of the Quorum of the Twelve, became angry with her friend, a Sister Harris, over an agreement to exchange milk so they could make more cheese than they otherwise could have. In violation of the agreement, Sister Marsh held back from her milk a pint of the "strippings" from each cow, which came at the end of the milking and was especially rich in cream. The two women quarreled, and the matter was referred to priesthood councils, eventually ending up with the First Presidency. In each instance, the decision was that Sister Marsh had been at fault.
As a result of his progressively increasing anger, Elder Marsh swore out an affidavit accusing the Mormons of being hostile to the state of Missouri, an act that was instrumental in the Saints being driven from the state, with suffering and death as a consequence. "All of this occurred because of a disagreement over the exchange of milk and cream," President Monson said.
After 19 years of rancor, Thomas B. Marsh came to the Salt Lake Valley, where he sought and received forgiveness from Church leaders. President Monson read this statement from Brother Marsh on that occasion: "The Lord could get along very well without me, and He ... lost nothing by my falling out of the ranks; But O what I have lost! Riches, greater riches than all this world or many planets like this could afford."
President Monson observed: "We are all susceptible to those feelings which, if left unchecked, can lead to anger. We experience displeasure or irritation or antagonism and, if we so choose, we lose our temper and become angry with others. Ironically, those others are often members of our own families — the people we really love the most."
He mentioned a newspaper account he read several years ago about an elderly man who disclosed at the funeral of his brother that, living together in a one-room cabin, they had quarreled and decided to divide the room in half with a chalk line. Neither had crossed the line or spoken to each other since that day 62 years previously.
"What a tragedy!" President Monson exclaimed.
"May we make a conscious decision, each time such a decision must be made, to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say," President Monson urged.
Referring to the obligations of priesthood holders, President Monson declared: "Great promises await us if we are true and faithful to the oath and covenant of the priesthood which we hold. May we ever be exemplary in our homes and faithful in keeping all of the commandments, that we may harbor no animosity toward any man but rather be peacemakers, ever remembering the Savior's admonition, 'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.' "
