PROVO, UTAH

Individuals can help friends and family members who have been affected by divorce by helping them focus on the principles of the gospel, John P. Livingstone and Craig J. Ostler taught during BYU Campus Education Week on Thursday, August 19, 2010. As they do this, they are more able to feel the spirit in their lives as well as re-gain trust in others, they said.

Craig J. Ostler is an assistant professor of Church history and doctrine at BYU and has a doctorate degree in family studies. John P. Livingstone is an associate professor of Church history and doctrine at BYU and has a doctorate degree in counseling psychology.

“Many of these people have been through trials that are like an Abrahamic moment,” Brother Ostler said.

Through applying gospel principles, individuals are able to gain strength and courage as they face a new territory in their life. The team teachers discussed a few areas in which individuals can suggest focusing on to bring added strength as others experience tough times.

“We must help them regain spiritual balance,” Brother Livingstone said. “They are going through a lot of feelings and emotions and even though there is bitterness, we can help them.”

One of the ways the teachers said individuals can find strength is through continuing with good habits like reading the scriptures.

“There is spiritual food in the scriptures,” Brother Ostler said. “You can point out passages that help with the healing. … Let the Book of Mormon become a handbook for healing.“

Through immersing themselves in the scriptures, individuals are able to have the spirit in their life to guide them, as well as find hope, the teachers taught. It is through the daily things — like scripture study and daily prayer — that individuals are able to feel and recognize the spirit guiding them in their life.

One of the main worries brought up in class was a question about the sealing ordinance. For many who have experienced divorce, confusion arises when talking about the sealing covenant.

The teachers likened the sealing covenant to a triangle, with each spouse at one corner and God at the top. Even though in divorce the bottom line, or sealing covenant, is broken, it doesn’t break the connection each individual has with Heavenly Father.

Another topic discussed was that of how to comfort children whose parents were divorced. It is through keeping up on a family’s daily routines — praying, reading scriptures and holding family home evening together — they are able to weather the storms, the pair taught.

“Children who are raised well will bounce back and rebound,” Brother Livingstone said. “There will be some trouble from the explosion… but they have something strong inside of them. Have faith and children will respond positively.”

Other ways individuals can help their family members and friends who are suffering from divorce is through encouraging positive activities. Added strength comes through attending church, giving service, and enjoying the blessings of the temple.

“Even if they can’t go inside, the temple still has power,” Brother Ostler said. “Don’t remove them from the temple because someone can’t go in. They can be blessed just by sitting on the front lawn.”

In addition to sharing scriptures and encouraging positive activities in loved ones lives, individuals can help their friends by being a listening ear and by sharing their personal testimonies.

“Start easy and keep it simple,” Brother Livingstone said. “You have to give them hope.”