Church News - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

The role of father

Published: Saturday, March 20, 2010

Pay attention next time you see a family depicted on a contemporary television sitcom or commercial. How is the father portrayed? Most likely, the show's family patriarch doubles as the family dimwit.

Over the decades, the "dad as buffoon" character has become a comedy cliché in advertising and television. Viewers know the formula well: Mom and the kids do the best they can to make the family work despite the bumblings, ramblings and clueless actions (or inactions) of husband and father.

Amid myriad sensitivities and taboos of the day, fathers remain a safe target for ridicule and laughs — an easy punch line. Once, television dads were portrayed idealistically as reliable and wise — a household anchor. Today, they are typically marginalized, merely tolerated or entirely ignored. "Father Knows Best" has been pre-empted by "Father Knows Nothing."

Even as popular media seem to be typecasting dads as second-class parents, Church leaders describe a far different role for "the man of the house" in Latter-day Saint households. Fathers, they declare, remain relevant and essential. They are irreplaceable bearers of the priesthood who can, and should, bless their families through inspired counsel, loving support and their own faithful examples.

President Thomas S. Monson, in an address during the April 1992 general conference, spoke of the vital role the father has in the family: "Father, like Mother, is ever willing to sacrifice his own comfort for that of his children. Daily he toils to provide the necessities of life, never complaining, ever concerned for the well-being of his family. This love for children, this desire to see them well and happy, is a constant in a time of change.

"On occasion I have observed parents shopping to clothe a son about to enter missionary service. The new suits are fitted, the new shoes are laced, and shirts, socks and ties are bought in quantity. I met one father who said to me, 'Brother Monson, I want you to meet my son.' Pride popped his buttons; the cost of the clothing emptied his wallet; love filled his heart. Tears filled my eyes when I noticed that his suit was old, his shoes well worn; but he felt no deprivation. The glow on his face was a memory to cherish."

In his April 2004 general conference message, Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve spoke of Satan's vigorous campaign to belittle and demean society's fundamental unit — the family. "It appears to me that the cross hairs of Satan's scope are centered on husbands and fathers. Today's media, for example, have been relentless in their attacks — ridiculing and demeaning husbands and fathers in their God-given roles."

"The Family: A Proclamation to the World" emphasizes a father's vital role: "By divine design, fathers are to preside over the families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

Elder Perry identified what the Lord expects of today's fathers.

1. The father is the head in his family.

In his talk, he enlisted a quote from a pamphlet penned by the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in 1973 titled "Father Consider Your Ways":

"Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home. It is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of [divine] appointment."

Elder Perry reminded fathers that in their role as family leaders, their wives serve as their companions. "There is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide and direct their family unit. They are on equal footing."

2. The father is a teacher.

"When you recognize the importance of teaching your children, you become humble, because at once you realize that this is accomplished by precept and example. You cannot be one thing and effectively teach another. You must live and study and pray for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. You must purify and organize your life so that your example and leadership reflect the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ."

3. The father is the temporal provider.

Inspired leaders, he added, have clearly expressed the charge the Lord has given men to provide for their families.

No matter how much the media portray the ineptness of fathers, we know they have a divine role in fulfilling Heavenly Father's plan for His children.

Past Viewpoints

  • The role of father

    Pay attention next time you see a family depicted on a contemporary television sitcom or commercial. How is the father portrayed? Most likely, the show's family patriarch doubles as the family dimwit.
    Published: Saturday, March 20, 2010

  • A return to civility

    In prophesying some of the evils of the latter days, the apostle Paul said men would be "proud, blasphemers, … unholy, … trucebreakers, … false accusers [slanderers], incontinent [lacking self control], fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady [rash and...
    Published: Saturday, March 13, 2010

  • What youth need

    A teacher in a high school a few months ago began her instruction one day by asking students who supported a political issue to stand on one side of the room, while those who opposed it were instructed to stand on the other side.
    Published: Saturday, March 6, 2010

  • Forgiveness: the only option

    To be effective, forgiveness must be total and come from the heart. The Lord lifted from all the burden of choosing whom to forgive when He proclaimed a universal law: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your heart...
    Published: Saturday, Feb. 27, 2010

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